Wondering if I have ever seen a man looking through a magazine any other time than in a doctor’s office, I lay the ‘Men’s Journal’ on top of the stack of mail, bringing it inside for the traditional sort-and-shred. Normally I would have used it as a sling for the rest of the bills and junk mail, but the guy on the cover was too engaging to smother. Must be Honey’s.
True enough, it’s addressed to my man – the cover promising sexual secrets and photos of smiling athletes. Surely, this publication was made for women…
The heap of incoming lies on the entryway table, handsome hunk gazing my way… tempting me…
Let’s just take a peek; I mean, it’s not sealed; Post Office spies could never prove that I opened another citizen’s mail. Still, I pause.
My little shoulder demon snaps to attention: “Oh, go on. You know you’re going to. Why wait? You’re all alone here, nobody watching… o p e n it.”
Okay! Okay!
I reheat a cup of coffee to postpone my looming crime, hoping to avoid being called a wus by my on-looking conscience. I’m aware of the little white pixie on the other side, trying to reach over my head to get in a good bash with that wand thingy, aiming at my bad deed devil.
How ‘bout I just thumb through it? Couldn’t hurt - right? Here goes…
Yep, it’s all about how to look like a god. Vitamins and drink powders, cars and cycles, hair cuts of the stars and sunglasses sandwiched between lots of young, muscular, almost naked men with perfect skin, looking into my eyes - knowing me.
Yum.
My guilty conscious envisions a camera chip on the page sending my image back to Federal headquarters to ascertain if I’m man enough to be opening this issue.
But there’s something else… something on the edge of my mind that says “Whoa, there kitten; do that again.”
Obediently, I flip through the pages a second time.
Then a third, this time with my eyes closed.
I open my eyes, repeat the scan, and realize there are no less than three cologne sample pages. That’s as much or more than the average girl’s magazine!
I close my eyes again and repeat, breathing deeply. Multiple clean, 
Wow! I open my eyes and vow to blog this one.
I still wonder if men actually READ them, but now I realize this magazine is probably very clever fore play; leave an issue of ‘Men’s Journal’ on the coffee table while you go get the cheese tray, guys. Your date will be well primed upon your return.
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Oh that guys were that sly and generous in their foreplay...lol. I do quite agree that the models and scents in the zine are alluring to member of the opposite sex, but there are guys who are fastidious and interested in achieving 'the look'. "Most of them are gay", I hear you say. Might be true though I doubt the percentages as 'most' Why? Too much advise about sex--and from men to men, to much 'life option' fantasy. Guys are visual. When they see they see other great looking guys getting the chicks and living the high life, they fantasize that wearing one of those cologne samples or taking some muscle building power just might get them there too.
ReplyDeleteRealistic? No. But hey, we women have been doing it for years with women's zines. Right eye shadow, long enough lashes and we have the male model of our choice.
With promises of sexual exploit and mastery on every cover, what red blooded guy could resist the free ticket to actually thumb thorough a magazine? It is meant for guys, right? It's not the connotation of sleaze Penthouse, Hustler or other men's mag might.
Read on guys. Maybe a little of the magic AND CLASS)really will rub off and inspire you to be a goovier guy. *applause* And if we babes happen to pick one up and think there are some pretty great guys between the pages and look for someone so inspired to take between the sheets? win-win
Thanks for the very entertaining post, Niki.
Regards,
Christine London
www.christinelondon.com