Taurus World Stunt Awards 2007

The evening began innocently enough - with Champaaagne!

Then we were escorted to Hollywood by the very sexy chauffeur, Lorenzo. Upon arrival, under a sky of circling helicopters, we walked into a sea of gowns and breasts. That's the way it's done in LA – Just barely cover the nipple and hope for the best!

Block-long limos brought dignitaries we did not recognize. As we approached the entrance to claim our tickets, we were asked, "Are you stunt women?" How would you answer?
Tickets in hand, we are instructed to walk the red carpet… you know, the one with the Paparazzi and TV video cameramen getting as close to you as humanly possible. So this is what it's like to be a big star. I didn't even look back at Christine, my 'date'. I just dove in, expecting the shock of an unheated pool – and loved it! I found myself winking into the camera lens. Yes, they took footage of us. They didn't know who we were, but, you know… "just to be safe".

Turning the final corner we are assaulted by a huge open-air video screen above the stage, set with a mock back lot street. A Taurus Café, Taurus Bank, "men working" signs and scaffolding complete with nets and mattresses, for some risk-taking, no doubt.

Our view advantage was wonderful, though it seemed a bit nippy. Uncertain whether we would be in or outside for the show, we came prepared with wraps. Looking around at the growing audience, I notice a young woman with crutches; a towering black man with a cast on his wrist; an elegant blonde Amazon walking with a cane; another in a wheelchair. No one stared at them. This is the world of stunts.

A rather handsome, young usher offers us black fleece blankets. (The label read: Peachfurfleece.com - I'm gonna get me one!) An unseen announcer tells us a countdown is in progress. Sure enough, as the palm trees flicker in the breeze, the big vid screen is filled to capacity with face of Dwayne "the Rock" Johnson (yum!) being interviewed as he appears to be walking backstage to the set. Speaking confidently about how precise the production is, a Ninja slides down a rope and grabs him by the neck; gunmen flank Eric Estrada who has popped out to explain that he wants to take over the job of hosting this prestigious event.

Shooting and explosions ensue. A quick escape is mad by the slam dunk Rock who fights off his foes, saves the cameraman, emotes over a fallen friend then leaps into a security getaway Hummer.

BANG! CRASH! Fireworks! We jump in surprise as the Hummer skids thru the wall and onto the stage. Wow! Smiling like "I meant to do that" the Rock becomes our MC of the 2007 Taurus World Stunt Awards. The crowd goes wild! Man, we had a blast!

Celebrity appearances in person and on screen are interspersed by death-defying stunts performed by "body-doubles". Bruce Willis supports the industry with a heartfelt dedication to the bravery and selflessness of these men and women (pre-recorded). Harrison Ford, who incidentally does many of his own stunts, presented the award for stunt coordinator and 2nd division director.

Joe Cocker was the music break artist and did a fabulous rendition of his world famous "Feelin' Alright" (Look for a link at the bottom of the page for a link.)

Jeannie Epper, the original female stunt person that made it possible for other women, and her own daughter, to get into the business was given an award of acknowledgment. Seventy to one hundred stunt women of every stature were there onstage to applaud her. I guess that was the group we were thought to be involved with when we collected our tickets.

Next, a flurry of daredevils sprint and fly from roof top to scaffolding (Oh, so that's what that was for) turning summersaults in the air – no wires or CGI – just pure talent. Stunt dancers slithered in and out of a moving car, pirate swords fights and more explosions all culminated with an on-fire fashion show (e real favourite!) It was refreshing to see that the show did not go as smoothly as we see on TV or in the theatre. Spokespeople forgot their lines or stepped on the lines of others; mics didn't work, and one guest commented - on camera! - that the teleprompter script print was too small to read! I am curious to see if the televised version on Friday the 25th of May, 2007, is cleaned or casual. Especially when Dwayne the "Rock" had a smoke bomb go off too soon and left no time for his prepared lines, he remarked, "They're gonna edit the hell outa that!" and got a good laugh.

Onward to the lifetime achievement award which was given to Burt Reynolds while the back screen showed his visual portfolio. I had never seen most of it and certainly didn't realize that he did his own stunts. He's the real McCoy. During his acceptance speech he stopped and handed the enormous trophy to Schwarzenegger to hold, and went on with his story. That was a fun touch.

Finally, we get to the part of the evening that brought us here…Gerard Butler. All evening Dwayne Johnson, our MC, had been taunting Gerry, testily accusing him of trumping the Rock's position - all alpha male gesturing, of course, but gave us ample opportunity to lean over and catch a glimpse of Gerry waving or hiding his expression or dare I interpret? – "Bugger off, man. You keep it up and I'll have to box you 'round the ear 'ole!" He seemed a bit uneasy to see his face the size of Montreal (oop, sorry, Glasgow) up on the screen.

Now it was his turn to get an award for the Action Movie Actor of the Year for his work in the groundbreaking film "300", from the graphic novel by Frank Miller. The tension created by the Rock had its desired effect and the crowd was all 'tingly' with anticipation, clapping and hooting cheers. I had seen the spears long before they were carried on stage by some mega buff hotties. They were so in character it seemed as though Gerry was being arrested - Spartan style! They escorted him up the stairs and took their places, two on each side one fore, one aft. Gerard had a quick look at his fellow soldiers and says, "I don't know these guys. I was hoping I'd never see another man in leather underpants." It was obvious from the start that this was ad-lib, all the way. He talked like it was just the two of us (to an throng of approximately 2500!) telling us personal stories like, "The role I had was mostly about getting beat up, just like these stuntmen here get beat up. My mother used to beat me – with a back-scratcher – from Spain – whilest in her slippers." I was beginning to get embarrassed. How much is he going to tell us? Will he get so personal that that scary hush will wash over the audience? Is someone going to stop him? No. He reined himself in and said, "Ya, know, I've lost a lot of weight. I'm not the man I was so I'm going to let the Rock win." Sweet.

To end a perfect evening, there was the party. The spectators were invited onto the back lot of Paramount Studios which is no longer available to the general public. Food and drink kiosks were set up throughout this Neverland supplying beef, prime rib, pork roast, BBQ chicken, savory salads and delectable desserts with amazing berries. All drinks were laced with Red Bull. That's OK – they sponsored the entire affair. I had a "Tunnel Vision" made with Absolute vodka, Red Bull and pineapple juice. They provided mechanical rodeo riding and an under-lit dance floor; a room of stunt oriented video games for the kids (and the kids at heart) and motorcycle stuntmen entertained us by zipping around inside a metal mesh ball. Great DJ, too! Lasers drew images and messages on the outer walls of the permanent sets, at one time scrawling "G.B.!"

At prominent locations were 'Reserved' signs claiming a makeshift living room of elegant sofas and low, candle laden tables for particular celebs, though they never showed. I suppose that is understandable considering the governor was there. Wherever their wrap party was, I would have loved to be a fly on the wall near Gerry and the Rock! When we realized there was no Mr. Butler to chat up, had eaten our fill and spoken to a number of stunt men and women we decided it was time to start out to our waiting limo. A helicopter was still there – circling. "The governor must still be here." I thought. Hmmm…I assume Gerry is, too.