Niki Chanel

Why You Should Always Carry a Corkscrew

2011-10-16T06:23:00.001-07:00

Recently I was at the J. Paul Getty museum with some art friends. The occasion was memorable for many reasons; a few of this group I had not seen for a many years, others I was meeting for the first time. I had never been to The Getty before and the skies were clear enough to see Catalina from the museum balconies. This was a day of firsts. (Those of you who know LA understand the Catalina thing.)

The exhibit I had gone to see was the Pacific Standard Time: Crosscurrents in LA. One of the ‘coolest’ pieces was Ed Ruscha’s 1968 painting, “The Los Angeles County Museum of Art on Fire”.

A funny blog on the subject of the paintings meaning can be found at LACMA.wordpress.com. At the time it was being painted, contemporary artists were angry over not being included in their city’s art scene – there was no place to display their work. Then the LACMA opened - a strict architectural box of a thing surrounded by a mote – very auspicious and not at all reminiscent of a place to expect modern art – still there was few openings for the local arts. The painting expressed the feeling of anger and frustration perfectly and hosted a very lively discussion from our group.

Another painting of interest to me was “A Bigger Splash” by Hockney. I had always thought that David Hockney had drizzled a bit of white paint on his canvas and made a few sweeping strokes to create the splash in the pool. Up close, in fact he had used a tool much like a fork to rake into the wet paint to achieve the splash. The fact that the viewer never gets to see who (or what) just entered the water has always been a delight for me.

Then there was lunch. Our group had managed to procure a private board room for our get-together but we had to go down stairs a couple of floors to get something to eat. Coming up in the elevator with trays of soup was hilarious; all of us agreed this scene should be in a movie.

Choosing my meal, I had taken a chance and purchased a $10 half bottle of cabernet sauvignon, agreeing to split it with a new acquaintance, but was unconvinced that this was a good idea. Just as one should never prepare a dish for the first time when company is about to arrive (it rarely works out well), the same I think, is true with wines. Shouldn’t one have already tasted and approved of a wine before serving it to guests, to avoid a fiasco? I have never heard of the cab, never seen its label and was more than a little concerned that I did not have a pocket aerator with me. A bad wine is often the reason a situation is remembered and I was not looking forward to this being one of them.

We made ourselves comfortable and tasted our lunch. Ah, the food is fabulous. Let’s try the wine.

Cork.

No corkscrew.

The investment of time away from my lunch date added worry to my insecurity. Why hadn’t I thought of this before leaving the cafeteria? However, in finding a sommelier I also found the restaurant. Elegant and inviting; artsy and upscale, though relaxed; I will definitely be returning.

Back in our private digs, we pour a bit into our glasses. Beautiful deep vampire red colour - you know, the one with a touch of maroon in it. The very little, but graceful nose tells me this will NOT be awful. There’s hope! Finally, the first sip; full bodied a bit spicy but subtle and well blended, and a lightly sweet aftertaste with a long peppery, astringent finish. We look at each other and I realize my wine lover friend had the same worries, and the same relief. “Mmmm, that’s good.” We agree. “What is this?” I turn the bottle around: Hahn. The label has a signature on it (not unlike my own penmanship) that says ‘Nicky Hahn’. Hey, my namesake! (Again, thank goodness it was a good choice.) Hmm, central coast, 2009. I make a mental note to get more of this. I picked up the cork to reseal the last portion and notice it is embossed with the winery’s website. I have heard some do this, but this is the first time I’ve seen it. Great idea; much easier to pop the cork in your pocket or handbag rather than the whole bottle if you have nothing to write with when you want to remember the wine.

As expected, the red elixir opened the conversation to a animated and enjoyable exchange and topped off a perfect day… truly a day of firsts.

Fishy Proposal

2011-10-02T04:15:00.000-07:00

First, let me say I’m not a big fan of shellfish, but when this wine bottle suggested crab as a pairing possibility, I had to try it.

“Serve chilled with crab cakes, seared Ahi tuna on waffle crackers or fresh baked French bread and cheese” says the back label of my 2010 Cupcake chardonnay. Initially, I wondered just how dedicated they are to actual pairing, as everyone and their grandmother already know about the cheese thing even if cheese is the number one taste eliminator of subtle flavours in white wines. I mulling it over and decided to be impressed by the company’s attempt to educate its interested drinkers with these mini menus. Great idea!

Some of you may know that I’ve been flirting with Cupcake for weeks and though I’ve enjoyed it with many dishes, for some reason this exoskeleton proposal stuck in my mind.

You don’t think it could have anything to do with my arachnophobia, do ya?

Naaah…

So today I finally had enough nerve. The verdict? The wine was the best part of the pair.

However, I see what they mean; the delicate blend of distinct flavours of the Cupcake, being fruity to start with a long woody finish, were not overpowered by the Trader Joe’s Maryland crab cakes. Much like sniffing coffee between perfumes or ‘cleansing’ ones palette with pickled ginger before another bite of sushi, the chardonnay made it possible to get through the meal.

I’m trying the tuna next, though probably without the crackers. A mixed green salad complete with five minute egg on top, sliced open to drool out like a Hawaiian volcano is more my style.

But for those of you not in love with seafood, please, be my guest – move on to the cheese!

LiveJournal Tags: Cupcake Chardonnay,pairing,crab cakes,Niki Chanel,wine and cheese

Children of Another Man’s War

2011-09-25T03:53:00.000-07:00

I had said last week that I planned to drink an Ancient Vines Mourvèdre from Cline Vineyards after a movie. The deal was to go with friends to see a Gerard Butler movie in Hollywood (that I knew nothing about), and the wine was to be a celebratory first viewing sort of thing.

But toasting was cancelled.

Of course the acting, writing and cinematography were excellent; the sets and scenes were authentic and in keeping with the situations. Lighting was superb and the action - electric. So why was no glass of wine raised to applaud?

Because the film “Machine Gun Preacher” was not meant to entertain, but to educate. A very sad lesson it was, too.

Gerard Butler plays Sam Childers, a reformed gang biker from Pennsylvania. His journey from the edge of self loathing to his role as guardian angle of abducted children in Uganda, Sudan and the Congo is told brilliantly. Writer Jason Keller and Director Marc Forster have carefully woven a tapestry of tragedy just merciful enough we don’t close our eyes to the problem, and skillful enough to help us understand that the truth is even more horrific than portrayed.

I am no international news journalist and don’t fully understand how things got this out of control in southern Sudan but it appears a high school drop-out named Joseph Kony believes he is a witch doctor and his misguided aim is to install a theocratic Ugandan government based on the Ten Commandments. Which commandments he thinks he is following are certainly not those we know of in the Western world - all of those have been broken repeatedly by him and his guerilla troops - one in particular ‘thou shall not kill’.

His army, currently called the Lord’s Resistance Army (LRA), attack innocent villagers who have nothing to do with politics, with no provocation and in the most vicious manner, then steal away into the night. They abduct children or kill them. The aim is to beef up their army with the frightened children using fear, threats, pain and death to manipulate them. Everything is taken from these kids - their parents often killed, their villages burned, their childhoods destroyed… My concern is when Kony is deposed, his ‘army’ will be in serious need of psychological help - and there may not be any. The ‘White Preacher’ doesn’t want to wait that long.

Sam Childers wrote a book titled “Another Man’s War” but it is all our war. The United States government has known about this problem since the ‘80s but has had intermittent intelligence from these remote areas in central Africa - not quite enough to go on. After 9/11, Kony’s LRA has been redefined as terrorists and efforts to stop his madness are underway. Reading about it from the ‘man on the street’ will give you a clearer view than I could paint; seeing the movie will be a hell of a wake up call, though I suspect you’re not asleep. It is worth the education.

It was my good fortune to meet with Sam Childers and Jason Keller in the lobby of the Arc Light theatre which I like to call the Dome. In the dim light I mistook Jason for Sam, but once I looked into Sam’s eyes I knew he’d had experiences far beyond our own. Jason explained that it took six years to bring this story to the screen. Once I’d seen the film I was heartbroken to realize how long this horror has been going on in the world. But Sam has a trick or two up his sleeve. One of them is a positive attitude. He surprised me by quoting some of his scriptures, like “In James 3, verse 12, G-d says a man must have only one wife, but he can have seven motorcycles.” He smiles with abandon. (There is no James 3.)

Later, in the hall leading to our seats before the last show is over, I’m walking past a few people standing along the wall. I step on someone’s foot and, turning to apologize, I fell into them. Looking up, my eyes adjusting to the dark, I recognize my victim; “Gerry?”

“Yes?” He leans to catch my fall.

I am forgiven for my clumsiness and we have a short conversation about his part in the project before he goes on stage to answer questions from the last audience.

See the movie. Buy the book. Save the children.

LiveJournal Tags: Gerard Butler,Machine Gun Preacher,Sam Childers,Uganda,Sudan,Congo,orphans

Grapes of Wrath

2011-09-18T19:36:00.000-07:00

You know, not everybody is into wine. OK, I see the shock on your face, but hear me out.

Aside from the obvious reasons like religious practice, under aged youngsters, food allergies, psychological references and previous bad experiences and so on, there seems to be taste incongruence's from person to person. Taste is the discerning sense.

Unlike eyesight where we see and accept what we see, taste makes us wait a moment to decide if this nibble will please us. To make it more interesting we aren’t consistent with ourselves - we don’t always like the same foods; “I’m off shrimp.” or “I’m not in the mood for ice cream.” but you never hear, “I’m in the mood for a purple sunset.” Taste is so finicky that when the sommelier pours a tiny bit of wine for the customer to try, to be certain it pleases, I wonder if the should serve everyone at the table this way.

I have a friend that likes wine fine, but enjoys food far less spicy than I do. I was curious what she would think about an Italian red I had just purchased. I poured her a tiny bit and let her see, sniff, then sip…

Her face screwed up into a raisin, her eyes squeezed shut, and her lips puckered smaller and smaller, worrying me I might have to call 911. She shook her head, then again more vigorously. “No. No! I don’t like this at all.” I was not prepared with a spit bucket so was relieved when she had decided to swallow. It looked like a tough desicion, though.

The men that tried it, were ok with it but would refer to drink something else, and I was somewhat in the middle, leaning toward not liking it.

So, a few questions:

If it’s that hard to like, why does the vintner make it?
Are there cultural preferences that can dictate taste?
Can a vintner make a profit with only first time sales?
Wasn’t there anything they could do to make it taste better?
Why does ‘taste bad’ provoke a universal face of revulsion when ‘taste good’ is so personal - not universal at all?
How can something taste so bad without smelling that bad?
If it tastes bad, is it in bad taste?

If you’ve had wine at all, you’ve probably tasted wine you didn’t like, but was it you or was it the wine? How do you know? And if it’s the wine, is it bad for you? I mean, if you were to drink straight vinegar, it wouldn’t hurt you. So exactly what are our taste buds telling us? I’m open to input on the subject and I’m betting others would like to know, too. If you have any of the answers we are waiting for your response before we take another sip.

Oh, one last question: Could these be the origins of the spit bucket?

LiveJournal Tags: bad wine,sense of taste,tastes,Niki Chanel,vintners,involuntary response,spit bucket,wine sales

Drinking Wine in the Desert

2011-09-12T04:03:00.000-07:00

I’m in Vegas this weekend with friends, and we’ve been out on the town (in the heat) and eaten our fill of restaurant fare, so tonight we stayed in the condo.

I made a faux Chicken Marsala - which was pretty tasty. Either that or we were really hungry. Normally, a dish is served with a bottle of wine. We drank three… three different kinds. (Is that ok?) All were inexpensive: an unbelievable $1.99 from the Las Vegas Trader Joe’s, though not marked TJ’s) and all were good! Products of Umbria, Italy. We started with a 2010 Vola Trebbiano Pinot Grigio before the table was set, had a 2010 Vola Sangiovese with dinner, and drank Cupcake Chardonnay for dessert, also from TJ’s which I brought from Los Angeles. My mom liked it and got me a bottle, bless her heart. The label says citrus-y with a hint of vanilla. Though I could tell there was something sweet-ish, to me it came across as a sweet bark flavour, like cinnamon but not cinnamon. While I was deciding, up came that Chardonnay oak that I love. Nice.

For background music and entertainment, I put on a travel video of Southern France and all were happy. Yes, I can mix cultures. I’m an American with European upbringing. Welcome to my world.

But I’m thinking you might be wondering, “What exactly is faux Chicken Marsala?” Before we get into that, I want to tell you a cooking secret: whatever you cook, the food always tastes better if the chef has a glass of wine first.

Having no idea what I’m going to make, I check the fridge for supplies. We had boneless, skinless chicken and some grapes - three colours, in fact. I found a box of raisins, and thankfully there were onions.

I sauté at least three loosely chopped onions in olive oil and butter in a pot while browning the chicken in a skillet, also with a bit of olive oil and butter. To the onions, I added grapes, raisins, bit of pepper and any other seasoning salt I could find (I found Lawry’s) but not much or it will toughen the meat and taste commercial. When the chicken begins to stick to the pan, add enough white wine to sizzle the chicken loose and make a bit of sauce - about two glasses of white wine. Reduce by half, for taste and thickening. Add the chicken and juices to the onion mixture and lower the heat to medium. Add a bit more wine to the skillet and gently dissolve the brownings into the wine and add it to the main mixture. I thought it needed a bit of sweet and was lucky to find some syrup. About 3 or 4 tablespoons did the trick. So far, so good, but it lacked colour. Aw, hell, add some red wine until it looks right - a glass of that Sangiovese, please.

It was getting hot in the kitchen so I let it simmer while we hung out on the balcony overlooking the inviting swimming pool and talked about why it’s closed for the summer.

Time to eat. We lit the candles and served th3e chicken with potatoes and veggies. Oh yeah, and the wine. Luxury.

A few hours of Fringe reruns in anticipation of the new season and my friends are off to bed. Not me, though. I’m staying up to enjoy the storm, watching the jagged bolts arc the sky reflected in the pool and hearing the deep sounds of boulders falling from heaven rumble about the open desert. The bit a rain that was squeezed from the clouds evaporated in minutes. Perfect Vegas day.

LiveJournal Tags: Italian wine,Trebbiano Pinot Grigio,Sangiovese,Chicken Marsala,Niki Chanel,Las Vegas

Hot Mid-Summer Nights

2011-09-04T14:27:00.000-07:00

It’s hot. I can’t sleep.

The open window is my only source of cool air and there is no breeze. Staring into the darkness unable to rest, I resign. Better to read than stare at the ceiling for hours.

I flick on the lamp and resume my current supernatural suspense. Almost immediately I am visited by a butterfly. Cool! It (He? She?) lands on my nose and seems to be staring at me with its orb-y, stickin’- out eyes. Not a moth; a butterfly – the small monarchy looking one. I stare cross-eyed back at it, wondering why it’s awake this late at night. G-d alone knows what the butterfly is thinking. It must have something to do with rotating antennae. This is so weird I fight the compulsion to brush it away and we stare at each other. It’s still better than looking at the ceiling.

I have always felt that personal experiences with animals proved that a direct connection to the realm of magic and alien life was possible like a kind of message from the universe or a mystic calling. It’s happening to me again with this butterfly. When I was nine I thought about such things all the time. Always hoping for another sign of the magic, I took silver linings seriously, wanting to know if there were any golden linings.

Lately, it has been raccoons. A mama coon with four babies visits us every night, early enough to be entertainment with dinner. I have learned that giving them some leftovers from the fridge keeps them from turning over the garbage cans. I know the dangers and keep my distance but I get to watch. What intrigues me is the eye contact; they look right into a particular part of your soul, transmitting an extra-sensory warning: “If you do anything to scare me, I will never trust you again.” It’s a contract and I obey. Besides, what if they can hear my thoughts? “Aw, she thinks I’m cute.”

But Babs the butterfly is sending me sweet nothings and we’re becoming friends. I felt a deep relaxing sigh well up from the depths, and right on cue Babs gently takes her leave and saunters, as only butterflies can, out the open window. Is it my imagination or is it cooler?

Yep, it’s cool enough to put down the unfinished fiction and turn out the light.

Was that magic? Coincidence? Alien contact? D, none of the above? I drift into the unknown buoyed on a breeze from hundreds of black and orange fans.

LiveJournal Tags: can’t sleep,butterfly,Niki Chanel,supernatural

Which Wine is Perfect?

2011-08-28T15:30:00.000-07:00

Zinfandel or pinot noir? The indecision has haunted me for hours. What will pair with tonight’s main dish?

I have company coming for a summer’s eve meal on the patio. Though these are all good friends that I have known for years, this is a momentous occasion for me. See, I have recently been re-bitten by the wine lover’s bug and my condition has advanced.

Since covering a recent gourmet Food and Wine Festival, my interest in wine has risen to the top of my passion list. And it wasn’t just the flavours and smells - it was the people. I felt like ‘one of the gang’, at peace with my closest friends and we are all at the right place at the right time.

Those of you who think wine is just an alcoholic beverage are missing the boat. Wine is not about getting drunk, at least not to me. Taking a single sip of wine that suits you is a transporting experience; visions, sensations and memories you didn’t know you had come rushing to the surface in a seductive welcome as though the wine itself has missed you. One does not want to get drunk and miss anything.

Growing up around artists, collectors and wine drinkers, I often wondered why people that liked wine also liked art, travel and reading. What is it that these things have in common? my uninitiated self would ask. I loved all those things but still didn’t feel like I belonged in the presence of wine aficionado’s.

What changed for me that night was the depth of my love for wine, in particular pinot noir, my favourite. It was like finally having the courage to let go of the side of the pool and use what I had learned, finding that I could swim – and enjoy it! I was not, of course, swimming in wine, I was immersing my attention into the effort the wine maker had put into this creation, listening to the plant that grew the fruit, being at one with the soil that nurtured it. The unabashed openness of the drink allowed me to join strangers in an eye-to-eye taste and expose my rapture, noting they too were in my shoes. Instant friendships were forged. This is the secret of wine – the secret of life; knowing and appreciating my fellow man…er men… and women… oh, you know what I mean. This kinship is why we are here – to be with others, to share our experiences, and to discover our own personal perfections.

To say that this was an ‘ah ha’ moment is an understatement. This was an epiphany of life altering importance for me and I am grateful.

Ah, I hear a whisper - my answer has arrived: a 2008, J Vineyard’s pink tinged pinot noir from the Russian River Valley will do nicely.

Perfect.

Wanna join us?

Technorati Tags: Niki Chanel,wine,25th Honda Wine Festival,Pinot Noir,Zinfandel,J Vineyard,Russian River Valley

For the Love of . . .

2011-08-21T05:11:00.000-07:00

Oh, all right; I guess you could say I’m a romantic.

Writing romance stories, however is not my forte; rather I’m apt to add a romantic interlude between a couple here and there, but the over all feel of my pieces only tend to lean across the table and touch your hand.

That table, however, will undoubtedly be laden with a Mediterranean feast of vegetables, olives and the all important wine. This, to me, is the essence of romance… relaxing time together with the ones I love.

Colour me old-fashioned if you must, but my definition of romance hardly gets out of the sensuality bag. If and or when togetherness becomes sexual, the relationship is doomed to some kind of end. Either the passion peter’s out or the marriage becomes comfortable; either way the electricity of anticipation and mutual magnetic desire to seduce each other becomes diminished.

That’s why the wine is so all-important.

To my mind, wine and this tenuous attraction are the closest things to magic I have experienced in this world. The magic of someone’s attention can make us feel beautiful. We are beautiful! When we feel that kind of good, we are in that state of grace they talk about in Regencies.

But the wine helps…

In fact, it works so well, one might not even need the partner! Somehow Mother Nature has created a love potion – a liquid lesson in appreciation. After a sip or two of a rich Burgundy, any moon is shockingly gorgeous, the flowering tree is a marvel and the birds are speaking a language we can almost understand.

If you doubt me, just try stargazing with a grape soda or an energy drink and see how magical that is. Sure, if you’re paying attention it will be interesting, but the romance is missing.

There’s that word again.

Hey, I have an idea; let’s go pour a glass of pinot and I’ll show you what I mean.

LiveJournal Tags: Romance,wine,Niki Chanel,mediterranean meal,pinot

I once was a Panster

2011-07-31T10:47:00.000-07:00

I always thought I wrote ‘by the seat of my pants’ – even before I knew the slang for such a writer. I will forever remember the day I first heard the term ‘Panster’; sunlight ebbed into the windows of Encino’s Barnes & Noble book store, bathing members of the Los Angeles Romance Authors in golden morning innocence.

A lively discussion was taking place… and a poll: “Which camp do you belong to, Pansters or Plotters?” A show of hands volunteered information that changed me - I belonged to the in-crowd! I was on the ‘right track’!

I continued to hone my skills with classes, how-to books, and every inspiring lecture by literary gurus. My pieces grew in word count and complexity. Until last month.

I had a break-through during a week long challenge we call SPEW, which stands for Stop Procrastinating, Everybody Write. The characters of my WIP (Work In Progress) morphed into alternate beings. It occurred to me that these new actors might take over the roles of my existing players. That would be a problem because I had worked hard to flesh out these players and was not willing to give them up to a new cast. Maybe these new characters belonged in another manuscript. The next thought “I have to discipline my characters” paralyzed me. The sudden realization that I was actually NOT a Panster scared me. OMG! I’m NOT a natural writer – I’m a sham. This was not a case of character failure – this was a ‘me’ failure.

That day I saw myself for what I really am - a plotter – an organizer, a planner, a maker of lists. *Sigh*, these are not Panster traits. What do I do now?

I had been thinking it would ALL come to me. I thought Plotting was too rational to write a fresh novel – not creative enough to make my stories sing. I clung to the idea that the best way was the Panster way. I had changed and it chilled me to the bone.

After a glass of wine and some staring at a wall, I decided I had come this far and I had to see it through. I began to list and organize my characters, putting them into their separate stories, dressing them and their scenes, sketching out time-lines in Excel and fitting them into pre-existing stories… then a pattern emerged. The story spines (or follow-throughs) of my various story ideas were always so clear to me – and easy, but putting people into them was the opposite - tough as titanium.

Many meditations later a compromise was reached; it turns out that I am a plot Panster and a character Plotter, and the two can work together. It’s ok to write the way I do, and knowing how I do it only helps me cut down on the struggle.

Just one thing: if tomorrow someone asked me, “Which camp do you belong to, Pansters or Plotters?” should I raise my hand for both or not at all?

Technorati Tags: Panster,Plotters,Los Angeles Romance Authors,Barnes and Noble,Niki Chanel,writing

Expensive Wine

2011-07-24T20:29:00.000-07:00

by Niki Chanel

I just read a blog by Brian Clegg about a book titled ‘The Billionaire’s Vinegar’. Yes, it’s about wine – very old and ancient wine.

Though not having read it, yet (it’s new on my TBR list, so it’s fairly far down), I am intrigued by the blog’s information regarding the possible fakery of such expensive sale items. Some of these bottles have apparently gone for as much as $100,000!! It would make sense that some brave entrepreneur would try to fake a few.

But what do you do with a $100,000 bottle of wine?

You drink it, silly! Lordy, introduce me to the guys who spend their money like that!

Now you and I both know that if wine is left out overnight, it tastes like vinegar. If the cork is tainted by TCA, the wine can be ruined, or ‘corked’.

Here’s my question to all you fabulously wealthy wine connoisseurs: How do you know the wine in that aged container is still wine and not vinegar? How do you know it’s not rebottled table wine? How do you know it will be worth the expense?

The only answer I can possibly accept is, “I’m a speculator.”

Ahhh, the romance of a gambler who prefers a candlelight tasting to a Vegas poker table – give me that any day. These are individuals in no need of a wash-board stomach or a tan. All they need to get my attention is to invite me for a glass!

Tense, excited, sitting in anticipating as the sommelier opens the bottle… one wonders - what will they pair with this enigma?

Technorati Tags: Wine,Billionaire's Vinegar,Brian Clegg,speculator,gambler,expensive wine,Niki Chanel,Alexandra Copeland,wine tasting

A Bit Different . . .

2011-07-17T21:21:00.000-07:00

by Niki Chanel

I promised a few of my writer friends some ‘film at eleven’ regarding my last couple of days.

I have re-realized that men and women are different.

It didn’t help that I had just read Leigh Anne Jasheway’s article “How to Write Intriguing Male and Female Characters”.

She thinks men and women are different, too.

Leigh demonstrates how women use pronouns – “I”, “you” and “we”, while men use articles – “a”, “the” and “that”. Zeroing in on this point gave me inner sight. I got it! To me it often sounds like men are condescending and that they do anything not to own blame. Laying it out so simply, Leigh helped me realize I am looking at them like a woman! *Duh* Using articles in speech does make ‘it’ impersonal. A woman may say “we had a flat tire” when a man would say “the tire blew”. Eureka! For the first time I understand why it sounds like women seem to take the blame for something they are NOT responsible for, while men shuck the blame off as though they had nothing to do with it - and they were probably driving!

Kidding aside, I like men. I am aware that when we say men and women are equal, it means we can do our jobs equally well. Evolution has made us perfect for our part in the great screenplay that is life. We need each other, and with knowledge like this I believe we can learn to get along better and enjoy our differences. We, as authors can also write smarter dialogue once we get a handle on the fundamental differences of how men and women think.

I have to add that my Honey and I have a great relationship and get along quite well. However, this insight will allow me to ‘move on’ quicker when we have an upset. Our choice of words should go into my manuscript, not my inner world.

To illustrate and keep my promise of footage, I share a YouTube video from the latinoseattle collection that expresses this perfectly:

Technorati Tags: Leigh Anne Jasheway,Niki Chanel,character building,hot tub,beer,latinoseattle

The Night Before

2011-07-10T02:58:00.000-07:00

by Niki Chanel

We went to an outdoor concert the other night – you know, the kind where everyone brings their own cheese and wine… It’s a lovely evening and the Beatle impersonators are gearing up for the refrain of “I Wanna Hold Your Hand”, as we are trying to get the cork out of our bottle.

Nothin’ doin’; this cork is holding hands with this bottle and it’s never gonna leave home. Looking away in sorrow, we must push the remainder of this mangled thing into the ruby liquid. There’s no way we are NOT drinking at this event. That’s just the kind of wine lovers we are - ‘bad’ wine is better than no wine!

A couple of hours later, a good time having been had by all, we head for my parents place just up the hill.

“Hey, kids. Pull up a drink and set a spell”, invites Dad. “What’ll it be?”

“Actually, we have some wine, but it’s corked.” (This was the easiest way to explain to a scotch drinker that we had mutilated the cork, forced it into the drink and would need to navigate around the floating bits.)

Dad, always with a response, smiles: “The only kind of wine I like is the uncorked kind. Want me to open it?”

This is the father I wish I had grown up with; he’s the same person, but very much mellowed with age… not unlike a bottle of burgundy.

Bless you, Dad.

Technorati Tags: Wine,Niki Chanel,Alexandra Copeland

Invitation from the Muse

2011-07-03T01:06:00.000-07:00

by Niki Chanel

I was reading an Amazon 'look inside' from a book called "Secrets of the Sommelier's". I learned that the celebrated Kevin Zraly operates his Windows on the World Wine School at the Marriott Marquis Hotel in Times Square, NYC. He probably holds court in the same rotating bar where I recently spent an evening with writers Trish Albright, Chellesie B. Dancer, Lorenzo Monterossa and Christine London drinking outrageously expensive drinks and telling equally bizarre stories.

How cool is that?! An internationally famous wine event in the same place as the Romance Writer’s of America 2011 conference in New York. Had we only known, thousands of romance authors could have brought together the intrigue of the written word and a wine of the week. Muses everywhere would have rejoiced!

Still, all was not lost; my sister was visiting the Big Apple on business from London, England during the same week of the RWA convention. She and I share a passion for pinot noir and throughout our week we shared several rapturous reds. And why not? Wikipedia quotes Joel Fleischman of Vanity Fair describing pinot noir as "the most romantic of wines, with so voluptuous a perfume, so sweet an edge, and so powerful a punch that, like falling in love, they make the blood run hot and the soul wax embarrassingly poetic." Master Sommelier Madeline Triffon calls pinot "sex in a glass".

My romantic sentiments, exactly.

I’m guessing that Christine Ashworth, writer of paranormal, young adult, and urban-fantasy romance would agree; reading her blog I often glean tid-bits and advice about wine. It occurred to me that wine is about sharing. Even when we drink alone, we are among compatriots – members of an appreciators club. Wine drinkers seldom imbibe to get drunk; we sip the drink to slip into a gentler world of insight and relaxation. As writer’s we are after communion - a chance to get closer to the storytelling lips of our muses and hear their tales. It’s as though we each have a dimensional portal to this ‘other place’ of the delicate arts in our glass. Wine will not leave you, the muse seeking teleportee, alone; it will take you by the hand and point out highlights in the landscape.

Hmm… maybe I don’t need to read the rest of the book; I may already know the secret: wine delivers the invitation from the muse, its drinker to a realm of romance. It’s grace in a glass.

I think this wonderful promo image for the new musical ‘Wine Lovers’ says it all. Now showing at Muriel's Cabaret Theatre located in Le Petit Theatre at 616 St. Peter Street in New Orleans. Tickets are $59, which includes six tastings of wines. To learn more and to purchase tickets, go to www.lepetittheatre.com or www.wineloversthemusical.com.

P.S. Couldn’t help myself - 'Secrets of the Sommelier’s is on its way to my wine cellar.

Permissions given.

Technorati Tags: Wine,Niki Chanel,Secrets of the Sommelier's,RWA,Romance Writer's of America,Marriott Marquis Hotel,The View,Times Square,pinot noir,Chablis,Larry Stone,Kevin Zraly,World on then World Wine School,Trish Albright,Chellesie B. Dancer,Lorenzo Monterossa,Christine London,Christine Ashworth,Wine Lovers - the play,romance,New Orleans

Wedding Photos Gone Wild

2011-06-26T02:40:00.000-07:00

by Niki Chanel

I was looking for information on air soft and paint ball, in order to better understand my son and his hobbies when I ran across a bridal trend I had not heard of before, and found myself wondering “What makes a wedding truly fabulous? The ring? Guests? Flowers? Or is it... the dress?”

You can ask around, but I think you’ll find that, though careful choices are made from invitations to colour scheme, none are as important to the bride as her gown.

The dress must be elegant, that much is understood. Often long and white, satin and lace are hiding the all important garter, but it should do more. The dress must transform its wearer into a princess with glamour and grace.

One aspect of the bride’s garb that cannot be seen is its comfort. Women are used to being uncomfortable for beauty’s sake but this is the day they will be living in the most opulent attire of their lives. It must be comfortable.

OK, we’re almost there: what else do girls shop for when looking for the perfect dress for the perfect day? You got it; it must be sexy!

So many demands on a piece of clothing made from enough fabric to redecorate a bedroom has got to be expensive.

But when the celebrations are over and the couple returns from the honeymoon, what do you do with this gigantic frock? Do you hold on to it for the rest of your life to remember that day, or are the photos better? Do you cheapen the fabulousness of the garment by letting someone else wear it next week? What to do?

Enter the ‘TTD’ generation. It is quickly becoming tradition to Trash The (wedding) Dress during an after-the-wedding-photo-shoot with your betrothed. (This one from Greg Bumatay at bumataystudio.blogspot.com)

Lindsay, a blogger at ultimateaffairs.wordpress.com tells us: “It is believed by some that the first photographer to start this trend was John Michael Cooper from Las Vegas.” Well, I for one think it’s fantastic! Could there be a better excuse for a relaxed, sexy photo shoot? No more worrying that a pulled thread or spot of food may ruin it – rather let’s try to abuse it.

There will always be some that scream “But why?!” and stare in horror. But courageous newlyweds have another point of view: they did not want to wear their mothers’, sisters’ or aunts’ wedding gown down their own aisle and they do not expect their daughters to wear theirs. One can do with it as they please. Put another way, it’s between the dress and the bride.

There are no rules, only decisions. Will you store or sell when returning from the honeymoon? Or will you go for one more round of photos?

Technorati Tags: wedding gowns,wedding dress,John Michael Cooper,Trash the Dress,TTD,Niki Chanel,Valmonte Magazine

Do Men Read Magazines?

2011-06-19T13:00:00.000-07:00

Wondering if I have ever seen a man looking through a magazine any other time than in a doctor’s office, I lay the ‘Men’s Journal’ on top of the stack of mail, bringing it inside for the traditional sort-and-shred. Normally I would have used it as a sling for the rest of the bills and junk mail, but the guy on the cover was too engaging to smother. Must be Honey’s.

True enough, it’s addressed to my man – the cover promising sexual secrets and photos of smiling athletes. Surely, this publication was made for women…

The heap of incoming lies on the entryway table, handsome hunk gazing my way… tempting me…

Let’s just take a peek; I mean, it’s not sealed; Post Office spies could never prove that I opened another citizen’s mail. Still, I pause.

My little shoulder demon snaps to attention: “Oh, go on. You know you’re going to. Why wait? You’re all alone here, nobody watching… o p e n it.”

Okay! Okay!

I reheat a cup of coffee to postpone my looming crime, hoping to avoid being called a wus by my on-looking conscience. I’m aware of the little white pixie on the other side, trying to reach over my head to get in a good bash with that wand thingy, aiming at my bad deed devil.

How ‘bout I just thumb through it? Couldn’t hurt - right? Here goes…

Yep, it’s all about how to look like a god. Vitamins and drink powders, cars and cycles, hair cuts of the stars and sunglasses sandwiched between lots of young, muscular, almost naked men with perfect skin, looking into my eyes - knowing me.

Yum.

My guilty conscious envisions a camera chip on the page sending my image back to Federal headquarters to ascertain if I’m man enough to be opening this issue.

But there’s something else… something on the edge of my mind that says “Whoa, there kitten; do that again.”

Obediently, I flip through the pages a second time.

Then a third, this time with my eyes closed.

I am transported to a private, Mediterranean beach, lying on the deck of an anchored catamaran in the sun. An adoring, attentive Adonis is rubbing sweet smelling oil on me in slow-mo. Perspiring elegant glasses of mysterious libation stand erect, within reach. Everything is perfect. Everything smells divine.

I open my eyes, repeat the scan, and realize there are no less than three cologne sample pages. That’s as much or more than the average girl’s magazine!

I close my eyes again and repeat, breathing deeply. Multiple clean, sexy men in unbuttoned shirts hold open sports car doors for me. Tuscan lunch tables are set for two, while Jude Law teaches me tango, strolling Renaissance minstrels play for our dancing pleasure. Leather clad Russell Crow holds my face in his hands for a light kiss before we are off on that Softail Heritage Harley Davidson of his.

Wow! I open my eyes and vow to blog this one.

I still wonder if men actually READ them, but now I realize this magazine is probably very clever fore play; leave an issue of ‘Men’s Journal’ on the coffee table while you go get the cheese tray, guys. Your date will be well primed upon your return.

Technorati Tags: Men's Journal,cologne,men's magazines,daydreams,Niki Chanel

Voice Lessons – Writer’s Voice, that is!

2011-05-24T23:22:00.001-07:00

by Niki Chanel

Los Angeles Romance Author’s invites you to a rare opportunity to hear Jane Porter, Liza Palmer and Megan Crane - three dynamic speakers – talk on the subject of Voice. Join me, the program director for this event, at the Sportsman’s Lodge Hotel in Studio City on Sunday, March 27th to learn more about how to improve your novel or script with Voice and style, Voice and theme, Voice and (best of all) the writer’s market.

The underlying tone of a story that can be recognized in a sentence or two, is a remarkable tip-‘o-the-hat to a writer’s Voice. Conan Doyle’s “Elementary, my dear Watson.” is an example. Movie scripts are brought to life by actors that understand the writer’s Voice and play their parts accordingly, like Clint Eastwood in dirty Harry: “Go on punk; make my day.” , written by Rita and Harry Fink, or Meg Ryan’s ground breaking faking-it-love-making performance in Nora Ephron’s ‘When Harry met Sally’, followed by the line, “I’ll have what she’s having.”, delivered by an extra. All enact that something special that makes us feel like we are in the story. We can r-e-a-l-l-y relate because the characters are so well defined. But there’s a trick happening here… it’s actually not the character; it’s the writer’s Voice. The Voice takes your hand, explains the rules and walks you from scene to scene, always whispering into your ear. The Voice colours and convinces you, until you know it as though it were your own.

Come hear it from the pro’s - Jane Porter, Liza Palmer and Megan Crane - each with a unique personal voice. Learn how to hone your own Voice with the entertaining help of these three, multi-published authors.

Date: Sunday, 27th March, 2011

Time: 9:00am - 3:00pm

(two breaks, lunch and book signings after presentation)

Cost: $25 through PayPal at http://www.lararwa.com/calendar.html

(includes continental breakfast; does not include lunch)

Place: Sportsmen's Lodge Hotel

12825 Ventura Blvd

Studio City, CA 91604

Toll Free: 800.821.8511

Local: 818.769.4700

Map: http://www.lararwa.com/wherewemeet.html

Bios: Jane Porter - http://www.janeporter.com/index.php

Megan Crane - http://www.megancrane.com/index.html

Liza Palmer - http://www.lizapalmer.com/aboutliza.html

43 Things Tags: Jane Porter,Liza Palmer,Megan Crane,LARA. RWA,Los Angeles Romance Authors,Voice,writer's Voice,Niki Chanel

Technorati Tags: Jane Porter,Liza Palmer,Megan Crane,LARA. RWA,Los Angeles Romance Authors,Voice,writer's Voice,Niki Chanel

LiveJournal Tags: Jane Porter,Liza Palmer,Megan Crane,LARA. RWA,Los Angeles Romance Authors,Voice,writer's Voice,Niki Chanel

Steamed!

2010-10-05T13:14:00.001-07:00

You punk! Oh…, sorry; yooouuu Steampunk!

What?! What the heck’s a steampunk?

That’s a good question: what is Steampunk? It’s what I asked when I first heard about it, and now I and many of my writer friends are adding it to our own genres.

Steampunk is “industrial revolution fiction” or, as the Urban Dictionary states, “What the past would look like if the future had happened sooner." Wikipedia alludes to Steampunk as being all things analogue.

But let’s leave it to a Steampunk pro and let her explain it; Suzanne Lazear writes Steampunk and can tell you all about the sub-genres, ideology, characters and archetypes; the science and technology, erotic and the dark side of Steampunk (and much more) during her November 2010 online course called “Writing Steampunk from Aether to Zeppelin”, hosted by Niki Chanel through LARA, the Los Angeles Romance Writers, a chapter of Romance Writers of America (RWA). The class runs from November 1-30, with a short break for Thanksgiving.

Join us by registering at http://www.lararwa.com/e_class_steampunk.html with PayPal and find out what you’ve been missing.

Or… you could go on being a plain ol’, ordinary, everyday punk. Who wants that?!

Technorati Tags: Steampunk,Suzanne Lazear,LARA,RWA,Niki Chanel,online class,goggles,PayPal,industrial revolution,fiction,analogue

Where’s the Money, Honey?

2010-08-06T12:06:00.001-07:00

Ever wondered how you could pull in a few more bucks without burning the midnight oil? I certainly have; I have tried ‘til I cried. My sister experimented with the concept, and found success only when she opened a brick-and-mortar store. My neighbors are still trying to make it work. I, for one, have long wondered how or even if it is possible to make money alongside the giants like Amazon and E-Bay. I tried the Google Ads, I tried the tag-line links, I tried the controversial subjects, and I tried the secondary sales techniques. Nothing. Zip. Zero. Bubkas. Nada. (I could go on… )

What am I doing wrong? Is there something I’m not doing? Who can I ask? What books should I read? Hunting the internet for answers is so time consuming that I… oh, wait! I’m late for an appointment!

Seems there’s always something in the way of my success. So here I sit, question marks for my crown of confusion.

Then I met Erica. Erica Barton, writer and web-surfer par excellence, has been making money from her blog for years!

With kids at home and an online job (how cool is that?!), Erica looked into it… and found a solution.

Or rather, she created a solution.

Erica has built an enviable online presence with her bookkeeping blog, her avid traveler blog and her flying tips blog. Her success has prompted her to share; she has prepared an online course for anyone who wants to know these secrets. She will cover marketing, advertising, social sites, promotions, contests, guest blogging and a host of alternate methods of kick starting your website or blog into money making action. Best of all, she hones in on the life of the writer, and that’s me. Writers spend so much time alone in their cave trying to figure out what the world wants of them, that this ‘intervention’ is an easy and comfortably solitary way to get the advice we want.

Her program’s goal is for the student to attract 5000 subscribers to their site. Yeah, I know; my mouth dropped open when I heard that, too. She will lay down the procedures, explain how to use tools and hand over tid-bits of insider information (all legal) from ProBlogger to HubPages. I can’t wait! (squeal!)

Through all of this she will mentor you and hold your hand, answering personal questions about the material. You cannot afford not to take this inexpensive course ($15 for LARA members, $20 for non-members, register here) for the entire month of September, 2010.

Sure sounds like the Holy Grail of Success, to me!

BuzzNet Tags: Blogging,making money,ProBlogger,Hub Pages,e-zines,LARA,Los Angeles Romance Authors,Erica Barton,http://www.OneHourBookkeeper.com,http://www.BabiesAndBaggage.com,http://www.AirlinesThatFlyTo.com

Harley’s, Ducati’s and Beamers – Oh My!

2009-12-06T02:54:00.001-08:00

International Motorcycle Show ~ Long Beach

Cycle World takes over the Long Beach Convention Center this weekend for their International Motorcycle Show.

A steady stream of racing fashion-clad enthusiasts (just like me!) attended the event. Every age made an appearance; every nationality, every size, every level of experience was there, all with one thing in common: the love of freedom. Even if you are one of the few in the group that doesn’t ride, there is an appeal in the concept. Wheels have liberated people since 8000 B.C., so says ThinkQuest, and we have been improving it ever since.

Hundreds of early-birds joined us, flocking to the displays for a look at the newest innovations, each with a personal ‘something’ in mind: gloves, helmets, tires, leathers – whatever it takes to enjoy a Honda, Triumph, Norton or Vintage – they were all there. Saddles and shoes sold well as wrestling played on the flat screens in the ‘TapOut’ lounge.

Adventure bikes and ‘rice rockets’ got equal attention inside while the Ducati Freestyle exhibition thrilled a crowd outside. Nick ‘Apex’ Brocha and Ernie "Yes Man" Vigil performed ‘Crazy Larries’, Seat Standers and Burn Outs, making it look easy but please, don’t try this at home (without instruction and training – it’s more dangerous than it looks!) These guys are two of the best in the world at stunts like Switchbacks, Pirouettes and Island Wheelies. My favourite was when they did the same thing at the same time, inches from each other. Poetry in motion! Art.

My friend Christine London and her personal assistant came along to try out the demo tours. There was a long wait due to popular demand but the ride was worth it.

View Full Album

From the parking lot to the stunt riders, a good time was had by all!

View Full Album

BuzzNet Tags: Niki Chanel,motorcycles,Ducati,Harley Davidson,Campagna,Long Beach Convetion Canter,Christine London

Sounds of the Season

2009-12-05T03:16:00.000-08:00

Microphones have been tested; a backdrop of snow flakes and reindeer has been lowered into place and photographers set up their tripods in anticipation of the call: “Open the doors!” A large, relaxed crowd swells into the auditorium, filling seats quickly. The velveteen curtains glow a deep red under the soft spot-lights, dressing the stage in a warm welcome. The bank of poinsettias, festooned with twinkling lights, gave a festive air to the occasion. And why not? It’s ‘that’ time of year.

The Long Beach City College department of Music, Radio & TV is about to present their Holiday Concert. Their choral group director, Tom Dustman, has been conducting the Evening Jazz Choir and the Studio Singers, jazz/pop venues, for many years. I’ll find out exactly how many years if anyone’s really curious!

Confident voices of the all male group, Brothers, had some great move, tunes and enthusiasm – always a treat.

Acappella mêlées of thirds and fifths are my personal favourite so I especially liked ‘Danny Boy’ done beautifully by the Studio 8. For Those of you unfamiliar with Acappella (without instruments) here is a sample from the evenings program.

The all female vocal group the StudioEttes, in perfect harmony, wooed the audience into a wistful mood, ready for hot chocolate and marshmallows. They entertained us with ‘Under the Apple Tree’ (with anybody else but me…) with some fun choreography.

A Choired Taste, a 5 member minimum with a maximum sound did a spirited number from the ‘50’s about coffee – which is ageless. Great voices, playful skits and a few props keeps one on their toes and they deliver! You don’t want to miss a thing!

A few words about the back-up band – exemplary, splendid, fantabulous, excellent, talented, inspiring! (Cute drummer, Cooper Dustman, is the director’s son. Talent runs rampant in that family!)

Then, to top it off, we were treated with a swing dance! Both dancers told me this was their first time!

So, Season’s greetings to you and yours!

BuzzNet Tags: Season's Greeting,Christine London,Long Beach City College Music,singing

A New Word in my Life

2009-12-02T13:02:00.001-08:00

I need a myrmidon.

Yeah, I know – not a word I had in my vocabulary either, until this morning. However, since I added a Dictionary.com Word of the Day widget on my Romantic Realty Squidoo, I stop by every so often to learn a new word… today it’s myrmidon.

1. (Capitalized) A member of a warlike Thessalian people who followed Achilles on the expedition against Troy

2. A loyal follower, especially one who executes orders without question.

Doesn’t that second definition sound like every writer’s dream? Someone to do all those time sucking tasks that need to be done so you don’t end up on the 11:00 news found living in a house of neglect in your PJ’s, sitting at your keyboard – that would be nice.

What would you get that denizen of a hunk to do for you? Oh, look where my mind went, ummm. I must be thinking about the up coming speaker for the Los Angeles Romance Authors (LARA). One Mr. Jimmy Thomas – cover model extraordinaire!

Jimmy Thomas is a powerhouse of creative talent. His new romance cover model business will bring him more exposure (tee hee) and capital than if he worked with a publisher like others in the biz. Smart. He is a martial artist and trainer, a body builder, a dancer, a teacher of sports medicine aaaand an architect. Bet ya didn’t see that comin’! I tell you, this guy is on fire. I’m guessing his talk will be of interest to the 50-some romance authors that will be in attendance on the 13th of December, 2009 at the Barnes & Noble bookstore in Encino. I’ll be there! OMG, what should I wear? Those red stilettos in the attic? I’ll need a ladder to get up ther… oh wait --

Where’s my myrmidon?

BuzzNet Tags: Jimmy Thomas,male model,cover model,sports medicine,stilettos,romance,writers,Barnes & Noble,Romance Reality,Squidoo,Squidoo lens

The Big to Little Fish Transfer

2009-12-02T01:26:00.001-08:00

Moving to A Larger Pond

Being involved with teenagers, I can sympathize with them in their efforts to apply for college. I call it the ill-timed agony.

Gone are the simple registration forms of my generation. Replacing them are rigorous cross-examinations of the students high grades (which they should already have attained) and the dates these courses were taken - sometimes they want to go all the way back to 7th grade! Of course, if these classes were special in any way, you must fill in that info on another page. Sounds simple enough… but we managed to misplace one semester’s report card and were unable to go further in the application process until we had requested a copy of the entire transcript, waited a couple of hours for them to be prepared and paid our $5.00 before continuing.

And you cannot move ahead. Oh no, that would be too efficient. Hallelujah each bit on information is gleaned by the master server and saved in your account! At least there is that! You would go stark raving if you had to redo everything over each time the computer threw you off line – and that does happen - often. The UC system had to extend their deadline this year, for 2 days due to online difficulties!

And that $5.00 was just one of the hidden expenses you’ll come across. The SAT, the ACT, the SAT subject tests: English literature, math, four areas of science, multiple eras of history and innumerable languages to choose from, each with a registration deadline, a cost between $30 to $70 for individual exams and another waiting period. (I did say that this was slow process, didn’t I? No? Sorry. I didn't know. Did you know? You?) There are so many more tests for the 5.0 GPA student to prove they’re better than everybody else that we glazed over and hit the continue button… arg it’s another page of testing opportunities!!!

The exams! Those poor kids! There seems to be no end to the amount of tests one can take to get ahead or make up for something. Yet, all you need is some money and patience. So we decided, later than most, that we should take the ACT (plus writing… don’t know why the even offer the other one – no one accepts it) in addition to the SAT. So we stop with the application and go to sign up for the ACT. That application took 2 days! It was more of a survey than a registration with no way to circumvent it. OMG the information they want is more extensive than census of alien beings! We were constantly having to stop the computer work to go look for paperwork or check a date, getting farther and farther away from the original goal.

What’s that line in that movie? Never give up… Never Surrender! OK. Next page.

Awards, community service, work experience, extra curricular activities, how much money your family makes, choices of colleges that they couldn’t possibly know for sure, majors and minors, checking to see if your favourite program is still open and then – of course – the pièce de résistance: the personal statements. Yes, plural. It is almost a test designed to GET the youngster to know themselves because if they didn’t know beforehand, they certainly know now.

What bugs me is the expectation that average families are organized and prepared long before the child reaches this point in life. (We’re still dealing with fashion sense of the 17 year old male artist, broken hearts and learning to drive a deadly weapon.) Pity the sad soul whose house burns to the ground before the kids get to this chore! One thinks of these twisted things under pressure. But I digress; the fact remains that this information needs to be taught in parenting school! You heard me: right alongside the techniques of Lamaze and prenatal vitamins. Every scrap of paper must be saved, paper-clipped (not stapled) and often with duplicate copies; then taught again to the students in the first term of their first year in middle school so they have a clue of what’s ahead! Why they don’t just ask for a DNA test, too, I don’t know! But in the end we beat the deadline, jumped up and down with crazy delight and had a cup of cocoa.

Was it worth it?

Only the test of time will tell.

The Diviners Wells Up

2009-11-19T11:14:00.001-08:00

The Diviners, by Jim Leonard, Jr. is minimalist play that evokes your emotional participation in every scene, even or perhaps especially, when it is performed by high school students.

The story is ageless - a deeply poignant psychological study of how tragedy can affect survivors and how one person can affect many.

Buddy, played by the very talented Isaak Berliner, opens and carries us into a drought stricken “mythical southern Indiana town of Zion” with a population of only forty citizens. It doesn’t take long before the audience is aware that Buddy has had a life altering experience and begins their roller-coaster ride into sympathy, rolling over in anxiety, feeling the weight in the depths of his anguish, climbing toward hope then plummeting into fear, sorrow and regret. Clues that there might have been a happy ending must be investigated through one’s personal view of the after life.

I urge you to see the play when it comes to your neighborhood. Why? Because too few visual arts illicit compassion in this modern era, though it may be the only emotion left that can change us for the better and bring us closer to our spiritual selves without the tool of religion.

The acting abilities of these teenagers was staggering – so professional I was duped into thinking they must have brought in some college students! Ferris, played by Mark Felando, and his stage daughter Jennie Mae, played by Allie Reidy invite a newcomer into their lives. Interestingly his name is Mr. Showers, played by Reid Wood. The playwright's technique of using the character name to misdirect ,causes one to suspect that he is the one to break the drought when we first thought Buddy was the chosen one. Only when the play is over do we realize his name is his curse… but I’m not going to give anything more away!

Big kudos to the cast, crew, stage designer James Feinberg (see image), production team and director / drama teacher at Palos Verdes High School, Nicole Thompson.

The Who-Done-It

2009-10-11T16:31:00.001-07:00

Yes! I confess!

I did it – I finally got around to reading Agatha Christie. I know; one would think that all writers would have done so ages ago. But no! Not me. I fought it off using the excuse: If everybody's doing it, it's a fad and won't last. I have gone on to feel embarrassed in mixed company, not being able to participate in the conversation for lack of knowledge. Not until very recently did I have everything in place and an 'Agatha' in hand to see what all the hub-bub was about. I was going to prove to myself that she was a 'flash in the pan'. I figured I wouldn't get past the second chapter so it wouldn't take long and I could get on with life. So I cracked the cover of the skinniest second-hand copy I could find (“Death in the Clouds”) and started reading. By page three, it was too late – I was hooked.

Cleverness extraordinaire! Every twist, a body; every turn, a poison; every character, a suspect. The gun (smoking) and the knife (dripping) hold no candle to the ingenious use of Ms. Christie's weapons! Bees, seaweed, tea; all goes according to a dastardly plan.

During her life, I am now certain, those around her thanked G-d that she was a writer. “She must get it out somehow, dear.” With a mind as convoluted as Agatha’s, one must have feared for their life simply having dinner with her!

Everything was thought out carefully. Exactly like a killer trying to drum up the perfect murder. No doubt about it – Agatha was a plotter. Though I and my colleagues are primarily ‘pantsters’ (we write by the seat of our pants using a kind of stream of consciousness), it is impossible to finish a story without the plotting, organizing, arranging and substantiating. We all have to be a bit of both. Agatha may have been both but one wonders... she plotted murders so well it's almost as though she meant to do the crimes. I will go a bit further and add that if the author had motivation to do murder, the story might well write itself. Her biography states, by the way, that her husband left her for his secretary. That has proven, more than once, to be motivation for murder. So, plotter or pantster could read: 'Murderer or not?' So all you mystery writers out there; choose… but choose wisely.

And yet… she was the editing queen. She was prolific, though no clue was ever left dangling, no mystery unsolved - even if it took an epilogue to the epilogue; and all this without a computer! Absolutely, her notes are worthy of museum viewing! I find myself day-dreaming… Did she write in pencil or ink? Did she write on both sides of the page? What notations did she use to keep it all straight? Surely these would be of benefit today - at least for me. Every book of hers that I have read (closing in on the half dozen mark since this time last month), I had to go back and check the facts. I’m the reader zooming through it, of course, but you can’t tell me she didn’t have to keep going back to remember who was near the whiskey at the time the poison was added. That’s not all - she was not always happy killing just one character… she could do away with ten at a time, if she felt like it! Now there’s some editing to tackle!

Me, I hate editing. I am excited about the story when I write it but it gets boring to me after several readings because I already know what happens! I want to go on to the next story. Then Agatha whispers in my ear: “Double up your stories; layer them – put them in bed together.” Ooooh! Quite the educator, wouldn’t you say? It’s almost like she’s… not dead.

Unless, of course, she’s in the library with a candlestick…

Technorati Tags: Agatha Christie,murder,pantsters,plotters,editing,motivation,smoking gun,mystery,writers,authors,read

The Jay Leno Show with Gerard Butler

2009-10-09T01:22:00.001-07:00

Starting around 1:30pm on Thursday, the 8^th of October, fans of Gerard Butler collected outside of NBC studios. Dress code was based on the prevailing colour of blue-jean-blue. One mostly saw the non-descript jean and T-shirts look though some were in palm-print Hawaiian shirts, khaki short and sandals. However, the very few that sported stylized hair, skin tight pants and boots, large earrings, multiple necklaces and bracelets, black nail polish and fabulous make-up were my favourites! More fashion please.

Once we passed through the gates of security (wonder what they are looking for?) we were directed to sit on benches for about an hour. (Glad I had a book with me!) It was possible to purchase a few items that have the NBC logo or Jay Leno’s name embroidered/printed on them like baseball caps and mugs. You can’t get these on the ‘outside’ so it’s kinda cool to spend a few bucks to have something slick.

Potted Bird of Paradise plants block easy access to the race track. The undulated horizon of the ‘Mulholland hills’ add interest to our backdrop. The constant roar of LA freeway traffic for background noise does not have to be edited in – all real! Behind us is a bathroom trailer with a logo emblazoned on the side reading: The Green Car Challenge. It is then that I realize the squealing I have been hearing, yet ignoring, is from a race track to our left. Someone is driving a little yellow and orange car taking the turns a bit too quickly. The general consensus, however, is that the driver knows what he is doing “He’s good!”I heard someone say.

But why is the track here? I wonder. Noticing a guy over by the cars I have this idea: I’ll ask! Turns out they have 2 cars; each cost $250,000! It is an win-win motivational campaign to increase electric car awareness while having celebrity fun. BTW, Jay brought in is Ariel Atom (a go-cart for adults; a small chassis car with a Honda motorcycle engine in it) to the track to try it out. So, Jay comes down here for kicks and treads, huh? Cool. I guess you gotta find something to do for fun when you can’t go just anywhere without the celebrity thing always at your back.

While all this was fun, we are here to see Gerry Butler, star of the upcoming movie “Law Abiding Citizen”. The film’s about how the murder of his family can change a good guy into a killer. I hear it is the first film made by Gerard Butler’s new film company, “Evil Twins”. Anyway, the first question Jay asks is “Where did you go on your last vacation?” “India. A friend and I went motorcycling up the Ganges River in the Himalayas. The water is supposed to have these healing powers but it was so dirty. People were washing their clothes in it, bathing and squatting into it. I don’t think it’ll cure much!” He went on to say that further up stream, where it looked clean, he was prodded to drink some. Needless to say, by nightfall he was so sick they had to bring him down the mountain by donkeys that were wearing annoying bells.

After a clip of the movie and a few jokes, Jay asks Gerard to take the green car challenge and he went on a test drive in the e-car. So, that’s what the track is for! They put a placard of Al Gore and another one of Ed Buckley; they dumped hundreds of neon coloured ping-pong balls and shot yards of crepe paper at him from canons to try to mess him up but his time was 56:16 putting him in first place ahead of Tim Allen and Drew Barrymore – Gerry’s the new champ. Very inventive way to promote both electric cars and movie stars. Who knew they could go that fast?!

They ended the show with a piece called “Under Pressure” by Ben Harper and Jack Black. Jack Black?! What a pleasant surprise!!! He was better than Ben in every way, no offense. Jack was just born to be onstage. Also, I really liked his shoes. All in all, a good time was had by all.

PS. A little aside… Jay, Gerry and Jack all looked exhausted. Fans think celebs live the charmed life. I’m here to tell you it is long hours and lots of being told what to do. They don’t really have any privacy and their down time is often on the go. Fame comes at a high price, indeed.

Technorati Tags: Gerry Butler, Jay Leno, Jack Black, Green Car Challenge, Law Abiding Citizen, NBC

What Happens to a Book After it’s Published?

2009-09-07T02:45:00.001-07:00

It is said that volunteering for a board position with your RWA chapter teaches you more about the writing profession. I am here to tell you that is absolutely true for I have uncovered some little know sales procedures that are affecting us all in powerful and insidious ways. They are the downfalls of distribution.

Exactly, what happens to your book after it’s published?

It’s shipped to retail stores all over the country and put on the shelves for people to buy, right?

Wrong. Unless you’re lucky enough to link up with a huge publisher, more than likely you are in mid-standing with a well known “small press”. Just to be sure we’re on the same page about what a ‘small press’ is, Wikipedia states:

Small press is a term often used to describe publishers with annual sales below a certain level. Commonly, in the United States, this is set at $50 million, after returns and discounts.

Fifty million dollars annually! Yet for all this, you may not even be listed as buyable!

Surprised? I was.

Here, I am trying to put together a book fair for over a dozen authors and a full quarter of these talented writers books are listed as ‘trouble-makers’… or not listed at all!

So, what makes a book troublesome for the retailer?

· A label of ‘pre-pay’ next to a book listing means the book can only be ordered if it is paid in full. To do this, the customer must know the authors name, book title, publisher and the ISBN (the International Standard Book Number) and pay for the book in advance; not a good selling point.

· A book that is tagged ‘non-returnable’ means the publisher will not accept any books returned to them. Retail stores hate that.

· Print on demand, or POD, used to mean self published. Too many unprofessional books went unsold and the stores were left ‘holding the bag’. Though some bad blood remains to this day, it can be circumvented. In the future, this will probably be the only way books are printed as it is the ‘greenest’ approach to saving trees, storage and needless handling costs.

· ‘No discount’ is the worst. Normally, the publisher offers a discount of the final sale price of the book (retail price) to the distributor. The distributor shares that discount with the retail store. For instance: If a book is slated to sell for $20.00 the publisher can give the distributor a 50% discount and they each take $10.00. The distributor then shares 50% of their cut with the retailer and they each take $5.00. Only when the book sells does anyone get paid and the disbursements can take months.

The trouble here is that even though the publisher has given a good discount, the Bookmaster catalogue can still be listed as ‘no discount’. Is this just a computer entry problem and easily fixed? No. I have learned some publishers have succeeded in getting the information changed only to have it revert back, a week later. Certainly errors do occur but politics, lack of communication and mysterious corporate ways dominate this business. In all my research (which has been extensive) I have yet to find the source of this problem. There is no central organization or guru that explains what to do. The store managers think it’s the distributors’ error, the publisher’s think it’s the fault of corporate offices of retail stores while the author has no privileges with the distributor and limited access to their publisher… a mystery, indeed.

Emma Ward of Management Consulting News states “Many people in the publishing industry feel that the easiest part of bringing a book to market is writing the book. With that in mind, you must begin planning at least as soon as you have written your manuscript—preferably before.” http://www.managementconsultingnews.com/articles/ward_market_book.php

Clear as mud? Well, maybe I can clear that up with a little story.

Once upon a time there was a writer named Wannabe. Wannabe was given many nicknames by the townsfolk: Wannabe Read, Wannabe Rich & Famous and even Wannabe Taken Seriously were some of these titles.

One day Wannabe decided to put a book on the market. The manuscript was sent to many different publishers across the land and finally one of them sent Wannabe a contract. Wannabe was thrilled because this had taken a long, long time. The town lawyer helped Wannabe tweak the contract, it was signed and returned to the publisher.

Many weeks turned into many months and at last the day came when the publisher announced a date for release of the book. On that day Wannabe rushed to the nearest book store to see it on the shelf… but there was no book shining out from the rest with Wannabe’s name on it. Days went by, then weeks and still no book on the shelf. Worry set in, for Wannabe had heard the gossip that after 6 months, a book was considered ‘old’. My new book will be ancient before anyone gets to see it, let alone read it!

Wannabe sent a letter by Donkey Delivery to the publisher asking what had happened.

Word made it back to Wannabe that the messenger had been slain by a terrible dragon that was keeping the publisher prisoner. It was said that many writers had the same problem and that the dragon was getting fat eating the messengers. At least now I know why things are slow, but I want to see it with my own eyes!

When Wannabe arrived on the cliffs overlooking the Valley of the Publishers, it was clear there were others in the same fix and all were in fear of not one, but many dragons menacing the publishers. Wannabe asked around for information about these huge creatures.

Mr. Wise, the wizard, explained: “The largest one is a book wholesaler and distributor based in La Vergne, Tennessee and its name is Ingram. His family controls about a million titles and sells to booksellers, librarians and specialty retailers and they have warehouse caves in Oregon, Pennsylvania, Tennessee, and Indiana.” http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ingram_Book_Group

“How can they sell books if they don’t release them?” Wannabe wanted to know.

“Best as I can tell,” sighed the old codger, “if the publisher agrees to give the dragons 55% to 65% of their gold, the dragons will let their books out onto the market. The publisher must also promise to accept returns.”

“But that’s more than half! Are you saying that this is a Catch 22?” Wannabe’s nose wrinkled in the noon-day sun. “It sounds like you’re telling me that the Small Press Publishers cannot afford the amount of gold the dragon wants, so they cannot sell their books to make more gold.”

“That’s about right, unless the retail stores get lots of orders for the book. If that happens they will start to stock it. It’s all about the gold.” A puff of smoke later and the wizard was gone.

Wannabe didn’t want to take ‘no’ for an answer so went to the friendly neighbourhood Fairy Godmother and told the sorry tale.

The Fairy Godmother looked in her Big Book of Spells (self published) and told Wannabe the magic 12 step program that might break the curse:

Create a website and Blog. Sign up for MySpace, Twitter and Facebook accounts – ahead of time.
Call your local Barnes & Noble and Borders. Ask for the Community Relations Managers to check on your book in their Bookmaster listing. If everything looks good, proceed to step 3. If not, go to step 4.
Publish an ad for the book in Ingram’s monthly catalogue, Ingram Advance
If the CRM finds a problem, contact your publisher to repair the listing.
Write a catchy press release and send it to newspaper & magazine editors.
Order at least one copy of the book from Amazon.
Ask writer’s to review your book on Amazon and reader sites.
Send a copy of your book to your favourite retail store(s).
Take a book tour; introduce yourself and book to retail brick and mortar stores.
Give lectures or discussion panels at independent book stores and libraries.
Give radio and TV interviews.
Go on book signing tours – it’s best to tour where the story takes place.

Hopeful and with new confidence, Wannabe ran to the nearest Barstuck Coffee Shoppe, ordered a Clappaccino to celebrate and got to work on the laptop. Victory is at hand!

News of the book fascinated town and country folks alike and multiple orders were placed for it. Soon the stores were sending in orders for the item and the dragons realized this may be one of those stories that will make a lot of gold. So they allowed the book to get inscribed into the Masters Book List. Finally, Wannabe got to see the book on the shelf. Now I can live happily ever after.

But someone was interrupting Wannabe’s thoughts. It was the store manager.

“So, when’s your next book coming out?”

The moral of the story is: Be diligent and check on your status every step of the way. Ask your publisher if your book conforms to the standard editorial requirements. If not, ask why. Be part of the process: write letters, make phone calls, send emails, read the small print and get your pumpkin home before midnight!

*********************************************************************************Niki Chanel, a director of Ways and Means for LARA, Los Angeles Romance Authors, writes about neurotic romantics and their pets.

Blake Snyder: Man Who Unraveled Film: BS2

2009-08-17T23:20:00.001-07:00

I took a class with Blake Snyder last year and learned, oh so much. And yet I didn’t got drawn into his world of how thing are done – the easy way. Instead, I felt I needed to wrestle with plot and character development, suffer through POV and word count etiquette. I wasn’t ready for his genius. Now… now that he’s gone, I need him terribly.

I know I'm not alone in the shock I felt – so young, so energetic, so sudden. It’s just not true.

There is was: denial.

The first of the 5 steps of grieving.

I had been scouring the internet for answers to my writing queries, finally remembering the ‘Pope in the Pool’. “Blake will know!” I quickly typed in his site for the advice I knew to expect, only to find hundreds of good-bye letters. What the heck is this?

I tried another site for similar info but Blake was everywhere!! I read many of the comments left on so many blogs from people that were in conversations with him close to his last hour. It seems like he was everywhere, talking to everyone – all the time. But they weren’t me. I never thought I could be so bold as to email the master. Arg!! Crap, man. Is this anger?

The second step.

Looking away from my computer screen I remembered my experience with Blake. His lecture - where I met him - was about his book, ‘Save the Cat’. He told us it referred to the endearing thing that a hero (before he is a hero) does that tells us he has heart; that he is redeemable.

A little golden nugget.

He went on to tell us about the ‘Pope in the Pool’. That was the gong for me! That was a BIG nugget! This technique has readers or viewers looking for that forbidden thing and not notice that they are absorbing background information. Suddenly, I was really hooked on writing – eager at a time I was considering giving it up! Coming back to reality it felt like Blake was trying to tell me something… that lessons are forever. “Keep writing and I’ll guide you with a trail of gems.”

Yikes! The third step – bargaining.

Great :( Now I have depression to look forward to. I don’t like depression and I don’t think I’ll ever to get to acceptance, the 5th and last step, so I think I’ll stay right here – bargaining with Blake.

Blake Snyder was an extraordinary artist and human being.

Inspired by Mystery Man on Film: Mahler’s Script-Beat Calculator

Inspiration: The Follow Through

2009-08-04T12:19:00.001-07:00

Even in these enlightened days, creativity is often squelched. Protocol, explosive opinions, other people’s feelings – you name it! There are a thousand reasons a creative person or group might not complete and present their idea. Fear of ridicule, fear of failure, fear of success (that’s a weird one), fear of expense, etc. but the bottom line here seems to be fear of non-acceptance. Well, you never know until you try! This wedding party got creative & followed through, bringing to the world a wonderful example of how it’s done. I give you: ‘unsquelched creativity’!

[I found this on Trish Albright’s Facebook wall]

So, does this change your ideas of acceptability? I applaud them :D

What’s in Your Latte?

2009-07-31T03:50:00.001-07:00

Kim Winklhofer is the Los Angeles coffee reporter of my heart! Being a coffee lover, I have become quite picky – in other words…a flavour, aroma, appearance and even environmental snob about the dark liquid. Does that make me a coffee gourmand? I don’t know – but I am always looking for a cup as good as the one I had in France, off the freeway at a gas and tire station. No lie! Complete with melt in your mouth piece of chocolate that goes in your coffee before you stir. The first sip? OMG! Unbridled, mind expanding, as good as sex moment of ecstasy!

I am also an art lover, however, one can’t smell the art, touch the art, taste the art or have a supreme instance of appreciation like a first swallow of coffee, without being arrested. Rather, art must seep into your pores and slowly mingle with your molecular intelligence before it arrives in your gonads. So I offer: coffee is better than art.

But wait! What if they were one and the same, you ask. Well, that would be something… something amazing. Here, for your enjoyment and entertainment is a coffee artist par excellence (that’s French for really f*ing good), brought to you by the one and only Kim Winklhofer from her LA Coffee Examiner site:

Notice, this guy is also left handed… the best kind of lover, ya know :D

Thanks again, Kim!

RWA Nationals Survivor

2009-07-22T04:54:00.000-07:00

When I first heard that the 2009 Romance Writer’s of America Conference in Washington DC was only 4 days long, I was bummed, bugged and bamboozled – how are they going to fit everything into so short a time?

Turns out, if there was one more day of workshops, I would have spent the day in bed – sleeping! – and missed it. Every single minute was filled to the brim with information, eating or hunting for an intended location. And yet, I didn’t make it to several of the parties that my roommate did. Mental note: sleep before conference.

The 2 main speakers, Janet Evanovich and Eloisa James, were so well spoken and had such fascinating stories to tell, I thought of dumping the idea of becoming published and let the big fish do all the work – they were so good!

Of all the wonderful classes I attended, I think my favourite was “Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Erotica but Were Afraid to Ask” given by Eden Bradley, Roberta Brown, Angela Knight and Susan Swinwood. (Lilly Feisty was also expect, couldn’t make it and whose seat was taken by Jax Cassidy). Ideas like ‘How to make sex a bonding tool between characters’ and ‘romance should appear every 20 pages’ were new ideas for me, as I don’t (as a rule) write the explicit stuff…yet :) There was another memorable difference with this workshop: it was interrupted by a Security Alert. This course was so hot, it set off the fire alarm!

My favourite publishing house is Dorchester and one of their head editors, Chris Keeslar, hosted a fabulous presentation on “The Anatomy of a Best Seller”. He says ‘trust yourself’, ‘personalize – stay exposed; it moves the reader and the reader wants to care’. Simple, powerful concepts. There was also lots of advice regarding your website, blog, MySpace and hand written letters. A lot of time was devoted to helping your fellow authors because we are all in this together; no two writer’s can submit the same book so there is really nothing to fear from each other… and much to gain. “Respect your friends – give back.” This is what the conference is really about – camaraderie.

See you next year?

A Hint of Wicked by Jennifer Haymore

2009-07-12T18:21:00.000-07:00

Over the 4th of July vacation in Tahoe this summer, I read Jennifer Haymore’s book “A Hint of Wicked”… voraciously! I haven’t read very many regencies before (I’m more into the ancient histories), though I will have to say I don’t know why. This one was delightful. Characters were fully built, a plot that could happen to any woman and easy to see settings all made for a moveable feast. Descriptions blended smoothly with each scene, making it unnecessary to overload the reader with decor details and clothing tidbits.

Other interviewers have already discussed Ms. Haymore’s story in terms of the three main characters’ sexual desires, however few to none have talked about the exploration of being held prisoner in one’s own home. That, I think, was truly brave especially in light of our current state of affairs – people out of work often are inadvertently made to be ‘homebodies’ and this story telling technique may have hit home for a lot of readers albeit, unconsciously. It was, however a very clever venue for isolating lovers so they could explore their unique relationship.

I also liked how an investigation was made to express old world views of servants verses our modern life-style. Garrett, who has been altered by his horrific wartime experiences, comes home unable to tolerate the numerous maids, footmen and other domestic helpers. His new view could be our own, modern view, while the remainder of the cast ignored the servants and the servants in turn expected this behavior from their ‘masters’. It all rang true - I’d say Jennifer has done her research well.

All in all, the landscape of this tale was alive and changing all the time, creating a real and fresh journey, which I thoroughly enjoyed.

ESPAN ~ on the e-publishing issue

2009-06-23T01:19:00.001-07:00

To E-publish or not to E-publish – that seems to be the question. [check out http://espan-rwa.com/ for an article circulating through the writer’s community as the 2009 RWA conference approaches (July 15-18, in Washington DC).

So many valid points on both sides.

I’m no politician, but I figured RWA ( http://www.rwanational.org/ )may have put forward their present publishing criteria (manuscript acceptance must be made by publisher’s that provide advances of at least $1,000 for all books; and pays all authors participating in an anthology an advance of at least $500) in an effort to benefit author’s who wish to make a career of their writing by trying to force the publishing industry to put their money where their mouth (author) is.

THE SITUATION: This has caused much angst among the members of the electronic writer’s community. For the time being, the electronic publication of a work is less expensive – for everybody. It costs less to buy an electronic book; it also pays the author less. Rather than trying to promote electronic publication for its members, RWA seems to be trying to create a class distinction between publishers, and to dissuade author’s from submitting to the e-publishing industry. I do not know if it is assisting anyone who is trying to quit their day job.

MY VIEW: I think something this big needed to be decided in a bigger way – thoroughly petitioning members far and wide for their views rather than surprising us at 2008 conference. On the other hand, these are our elected officials and as such have been given the right and ability to do just what they have done. It’s no good cryin’ after the election.

Awards can be gotten elsewhere, as can education, information and exposure. RWA could be one wheel of your promo vehicle but should not be relied one solely for total support. Branch out; see what’s available out there - it really is a Brave New World.

To illustrate: I am a member of RWA. I am grateful for the venue it provides. I am also a member of EPIC (Electronic Published Internet Connection, http://www.epicauthors.com/ ). I fully enjoy the platform there, as well. I am getting the best of both worlds: paper publication support and electronic publishing awareness and guidance. I have met fantastic writer’s, editors and publisher’s at both conferences. I read both paper and screen.

I am happy in the world. I do not have to succumb. Neither do you.

Whataya say, we see new people?

Black Dog of the Hanging Hills

2009-06-19T02:15:00.000-07:00

Doing research for a WIP (work in progress) about local werewolves, I found this legend of the Black Dog of the Hanging Hills.

I had just been reading about mental real estate and how it aids in sparking interest because an ‘educated’ audience is pre-sold, so having a spooky dog legend from a location I want to place a fictitious, scary dog story (eh hem, uh, werewolves) is so cool! Suffice it to say that I think I have found the perfect spot for my story. It has everything: wooded area of the eastern United States, near a college with a great library.

I had been kicking myself for starting the piece before I settled on these details. I firmly believe it is easier to do it right the first time, but I got excited and started without the full research. I simply thrilled it’s working out, in spite of myself :D

BTW, I didn’t post a photo of the Black Dog, just in case you may have already seen it…

When the student is ready...

2009-06-15T18:16:00.001-07:00

Revisiting Alexandra Sokoloff’s blog, looking for her new book, I found a treasure trove of the very information I have been looking for all my writing life! Theme, structure, character development – it’s all there! For FREE!!! Finally, I have found my guru!

If you are interested in the same information, be sure to have some time on your hands before you type in her link – there is a mountain of material with multiple links to the authors she reveres. This is a crafter’s blog and not tailored for the reader who just wants the story… unless you want to know what ‘makes it tick’. Those of you that are addicted to reading may get lost in there. Maybe you should tell someone where you’re going, first. Oh and be prepared to take notes – indispensable ones.

The Harrowing Alexandra Sokoloff

2009-06-01T20:44:00.000-07:00

I have a pretty vivid imagination, so horror is not exactly my cup of tea. For example, I was not in the audience for "Reservoir Dogs", "Hellraiser" or "Saw". I wouldn’t have been able to sleep at night. However, I can and have enjoyed movies like "Shaun of the Dead", "Dracula" and "From Dusk 'til Dawn". I don't need the real gore or the philosophy of evil to be thrilled. I just want a great story told well.

Sometimes, knowing the author personally can give you insight; When you know the person that 'did the thing' you can kind of tell what it's going to be like... or they can just tell you you're too much of a baby for it. Alex said she wouldn't hurt me. I trust her. Forewarned is forearmed so I bought ‘The Harrowing’, stiff-upper-lipped it and was simply unable to put the book down!
In the beginning I was a bit fearful, not knowing just how scary she would whip it but she did not disappoint. From the first page I was on a roller coaster ride! Sometimes holding on around blind curves, turning the page and being slammed back in my seat all the while looking over my shoulder to be sure I wasn’t followed. It got pretty hairy there – more than once I thought everything was going to explode! You have got to read it!

Alexandra Sokoloff is one of those writers - gentle person with a poison pen. She has a powerful ability to transport you to another world with her fluid writer's voice. She is such a cool person!
You owe it to yourself to check out her website.

Listen, if I can take it, so can you!

6-Week Course to a 3 Month Novel

2009-05-23T16:27:00.000-07:00

Frustration makes me feel so many different emotions that I think I have something in common with my HP PC – I freeze a bit too often. I can’t figure out where to start my thriller: 3000 years ago or start in the hero’s contemporary world and do a flash back or dream sequence – both poo-pooed by successful authors. I’m sad because it slows my creative juices, mad because I should already know from all the classes I’ve taken and confused at how a badly written book can see their day in print. I suspect there’s a dose of envy in there, too… somewhere.

So I go online in hopes of goosing the web spirits to send me a sign.

Ah, here’s a guy that has made his bloody mark; Gar Anthony Haywood's, a crime writer ( member of mediabistro.com Courses and Seminars ), promises to teach students how to write a novel in 3 months that gets the attention of any agent, editor, publisher or reader. That’s quite a claim! The few catches (you knew there would be, huh?) are that you must submit: a letter of interest, a brief work history, previous coursework list, a writing sample of 15 pages (max) and $425.00 - oh yeah, and don’t forget the 6 weeks. Sounds serious, intriguing and out of my reach. Unemployed at the moment, that kind of money keeps writer’s like me at the end of the line.

My interest in such a course (if it’s not already obvious) is to find out if I have what it takes; if I still can not get it all straight after a class like this, then I should stop chewing on my pencil and go find a job at the zoo. I found the magic elixir but I can’t get the bottle open.

What to do now? I could waste more time on the internet looking for another class of this sort (not writing) or read some books on the subject that I checked out from the library (again not writing). Maybe if I do the laundry I’ll get an ah-ha; go eat something? I’m not hungry and am trying to loose the weight. I’m also trying to loose wait :) This indecisive stuff may be the smoke screen for a writer’s block. Uh oh; that’s bad. Send out an APB!

Luckily, when things get this bleak a little voice I keep forgetting I have about says: Never give up: never surrender! Okay, okay, okay. There has GOT to be something on the WWW to guide me. Millions upon millions of writers are posting stuff this very moment, just for me. That’s it – positive attitude. Baby steps.

Come on, frustration; let’s go back to the wishing well.

G-g-g-great-grandma Ida

2009-05-20T20:08:00.001-07:00

Ida, the 'missinglink' dino, is making a comeback! She's returning to international society after years on a wall as art. Talk about pictures of your ancesters... Ida has made relatives of us all!

Got anythig to say to G-g-g-greatgrandma?

All Flash and No Genre

2009-04-16T02:24:00.000-07:00

I’m putting together a compilation of Flash Fiction pieces for RWA, 2009. Every year during the conference a get-together called Moonlight Madness is held in an effort to raise money for the various chapters.

In preparation, naturally I perused the internet for examples to help explain Flash Fiction to other writer’s. Many of the works I found were horrific in some way, yet the over all feel is that this technique of authorship called Flash Fiction is genre-less.

There are, however, blog-clubs that stick to a general limitation such as 55er’s or 69er’s and one such site collected erotic Flash Fiction, which is in keeping, don’t you think?

But why is the majority dealing with horror?

Is it because the works are so short that by the time you have ascertained the genre, it’s over? Or is it because many of these inventive pieces are done by automatic writing and one cannot dictate what the depths of the mind will deliver?

Well, of course not, but I think it’s fun to imagine that the most courageous among us are from the horror genre. It takes guts to scare the crap out of your audience!

Intrigued, I tried a few pieces unsuitable for table conversation and found it fairly easy (ha ha). I started with a bit of bad news or, as Samuel Goldwyn puts it, an ‘earthquake and escalate to a climax’. It’s probably because a story usually rotates around something that has gone wrong and that makes it easier to cut away the chaff. Without a crisis it’s difficult to know where to begin. And by crisis, I don’t necessarily mean explosions and chase scenes. I mean (for Flash Fiction in particular) one can break a plate or stub a toe and write a miniature piece about it. I suspect that the more mundane it is, the funnier it becomes in the frame of Flash Fiction.

Above all, Flash Fiction is creative. One must find a way to use only the basics and make a fabulous dessert of it. Besides, why bother if it’s going to be a lot of trouble?

I saw a mock newspaper in a film the other day and the headlines are this same sort of Flash Fiction I’ve been going on about:

Satan Escapes From Hell

That’s got it all: it’s flash for sure, tells a story, it’s funny (entertaining) AND horrific. Could even be inspiring…

So no stressing about a genre – let go and see what your depths deliver!

Happy FFing!

French Boy

2008-08-11T01:45:00.000-07:00

After six weeks of fun and frivolity, my French friend has flown back to Paris. We managed to get him pretty drunk the night before, got him up at the crack of dawn, fed him pancakes (which he put sugar on - yum) and keep him company 'til the last possible moment. You say that was mean?

Well, hey, we started out in Tahoe for a 4th of July (all day) party at another friends place on the lake. Smoke from a thousand Californian fires didn't get us down, though we were concerned for other Californians and the natural destruction.

Hiking, tubing, and BBQ's were cut short when we went to northern California. There we visited Fortuna, Ferndale, Lost Coast, Fern Canyon (where Jurassic Park II was filmed) and the Lady Bird Grove of the rain forest there (where the Ewok Adventure of Star Wars was filmed).

Next, to Los Angeles. SoCal beaches, more BBQ's, swimming, movies and Pann's restaurant in Hollywood (where Pulp Fiction was filmed). Thank you, perfect weather!

Then on to San Francisco. Chinatown, Pier 49 (I like to call it Alcatraz Pier), Little Joe's and the 2008 Romance Writer's conference at the Marriot before we headed back to Tahoe.

Lake surfing at high noon (sun screen a must), still more BBQ's, hot-tubbing, sushi, burgers (his favouite!) tapas and finally a blow-out meal at the Lone Eagle Grill (dress-up evening).

Heading again for LA, we drove down 395, which turned out to be beautiful and educational. We stopped off at the Mono Lake Tufas and saw that the area is indeed healing from the LA water theft days. We got in late and up early to jam to Universal Studios for a perfect day of fun in the sun, getting wet at almost every attraction. We didn't have much desire to get up early next day for Magic Moutain / Six Flags so we accepted an invitation to a fabulous birthday party of a friend in PV. Live band, swimming, loads of great food and drink. Oh yeah, drinks. Only babies left without getting inebriated! It's a good thing we couldn't accept the first day of the party (went for a week!) - cuz the birthday boy driving around LA in a double-decker bus taking his friends bar hopping! Too much fun, n'est pas?!

So... do you still think I was mean to French Boy?

4th of July in Tahoe

2008-07-05T11:51:00.000-07:00

Parties are great. Either we get to meet new people, giving you a break from the usual, or we have enough fun that you get a break from yourself. Lake Tahoe, Nevada is the perfect venue; clean air, clean water, go barefoot, drink wine at noon and smile. Your eyes rest in the vistas that hypnotize your mind. In fact, most people spend the first three hours just vegging on the landscape. . . then we go to Rayley’s! The food! The hat's! The towel's! The suntan lotion! Ah... tradition.

But mostly, it's the friends. People we love that live far away, people you met last year that feel like old friends, the new ones you just met and of course the ones you bring with you!

And of course, the boats...

and the squirrels... trees... cold water and the hot sun... well, you get the idea.

Romantic Times Convention in Pittsburg

2008-05-19T18:56:00.000-07:00

Had I only known how much partying there would be at RT (short for Romantic Times) I might have slept a bit beforehand! Every single night – costumes, live music, half naked young men pumped for beauty rather than strength, alcohol, food, chocolate (deserves to be in a category by itself), publishers, agents, editors, …oh, and a blowout show based on shoes hosted by Dorchester Publishing - a author’s dream worth writing about!

The extra cool thing about RT is that it’s for readers, too. I knew about it, sure, but didn’t put 2 & 2 together until after a few days. This is where the end of the rainbow hangs out! A writer is, of course, a story teller. We all tell stories around camp fires and in line at the bank, but a writer goes the extra mile by putting the tale on paper or in digital ink. When a customer buys a book we have a win / win situation. The reader gets a trip to Italy with a cute mate or a ticket to travel through time – for less then dinner at Denny’s. The writer makes a little cash, allowing them to write another day.

But where does an author find the readers of their particular genre to let them know about their newest adventure? You can’t tap someone on the shoulder at Barnes and Noble’s and convince them to buy 50 copies of your paperback. OK, so there’s the book signings but most of the people present at those affairs are the writer’s friends and colleagues. We need hundreds more fans to stay afloat. So, we spend hours on MySpace, we blog, we join forums, we gather at book fairs but at RT the readers are already primed for us. They are excited to meet and greet new and trusted writers of their favourite flavours: Paranormal, suspense, romantic comedy, magic, even horror. This, ladies and gentlemen, is novel nirvana!

Friends Niki Chanel and Christine London were met by Barbara Vey from Publisher’s Weekly as we were leaving. (Google her - she's everywhere!) She wanted to show us her “Flip” video camera. You shoot, plug into a USB port and voila! You’re on YouTube. The thing looks rather iPod-ish so you could find yourself trying to stick headphones into your camera, but so what. Instead, why not laugh at us in her mini vid interview:

(We had stage fright for the first run, so this version has us adlibbing against the clock – pressure! We’re a bit goofy, if you ask me.)

The other truly outstanding aspect of the Romantic Times Conference is the presence of numerous male cover models. Yes, you heard me right: MALE COVER MODELS. Each one is the perfect man. Gorgeous, cute, handsome; polite, enthusiastic, gentle; just the right amount of physical and not at all camera shy. The perfect man for the perfect date and you don’t even have to call them in the morning! ^.^

I implore you, readers: come see us at the next RT conference – you’ll be glad you did!

The 2009 RT get together will be in Orlando, Florida at the Wyndham Orlando Resort. Bring your swimsuit!

Beowulf in 3D

2007-11-21T10:57:00.000-08:00

Just saw the new Beowulf. We got to pay for tickets and the cashier asks,
"Do you want the $5 (matinee) tickets or the $11 tickets?"
"Huh?"
"Oh, the $11 are for 3D."
"Well, sure we want to pay more!" Isn't that always the answer? It was, however, a good choice. Very cool special effects that make you try to jump out of the way when something fly’s at you. You want to reach into the film to catch falling things or touch the surface of the water. But it is all in your head. Not just because this is a movie, but because the actors are digital - everything is digital. Yet so life-like you can see every pore of the King's skin (played by Anthony Perkins and rotoscoped using his voice-over) and see the sadness in his eyes. Ray Winstone is a great muscle-bound hunk that strips in his first scene (woo woo!)and Angelina makes for a yummy eyeful, as well (of course). Hollywood really dished it out.

The story was changed a bit from other Beowulf story lines I have seen before - like the one with Gerry Butler. That was live action, but it was still so foreign to our modern life-style that it was as odd as the digital tale. Both are very entertaining and educational. Afterward, there is lots to digest about the sins of our forefathers and why men can't just say 'no'.

All in all, a pretty good weekend - wouldn't you say?

Hey, more leather underpants! Gerry, look what you started!

Across the Universe with Eddie

2007-11-14T22:11:00.000-08:00

Just saw "Across the Universe", a film made using the Beatles songs, symbolism and footage from the era. The best known actor, at least to me, was Eddie Izzard. This guy can do this with his eyes closed, as they say. Everything he does is just perfect for the situation. This particular scene would have been difficult for another actor. He is perfectly cast. Bravo.

The rest of the film was an emotional rollercoster ride: Expectant good times fold under the weight of war, death and destruction, then love saves the survivors. The storyline includes insinuations of personages the 60's and 70's incuded, like Janis Joplin, Jimmy Hendrix, Yoko Ono, Jerry Garcia. The singing voices were expert, making it easy to hear someone other than Paul or John singing their own tunes. The psychedelic colours reflected the hallucinogenic factors of the drug world. Ken Keasey made an appearance and we almost got to see Timothy Leary.

I read a lot about these subjects last year and got more out of the film knowing what it meant, so it's probably too weird for the mainstream youngsters of today to appreciate. My son was interested in the drug scene back then (crap) but it was a good plaform for discussion. There seems to be so much less of a drug problem, now, but maybe I see it that way because I went to art school :)

Orianthi

2007-11-14T19:07:00.000-08:00

Remember my blog about Darren Hayes? (just below) Well, standing in line there at the Hollywood Borders, Christine London and I met Orianthi, an Austalian singer that plays guitar. Her mother was with her and turned out to be a romance writer, on hiatus. Christine invites her mother, Susanne, to a Los Angeles Romance Author's meeting with us, while I enjoy my wait with Orianthi, talking about music.

The following weekend Susanne shows for the meeting! She has brought me a gift...Orianthi's new CD. I am trilled and touched. I place the CD in a player and am transported! I cry. I haven't heard this kind of music since Joe Satriani, or is it Santana? How can someone so young play like this? It is so pure, clear and expressive. I rush to her MySpace: http://www.myspace.com/orianthi and see an informative slide show about her career. This is more than music! It is an journey. Oh wait... that's the name of the CD, Violet Journey. My favourite track is titled "Wouldn't Change a Thing" and the truth is, I woudn't change a thing about Orianthi!

One more picture? How about this one with Steve Vai. Some of you may know that he played with Frank Zappa who insisted on technical genius from his band members. Steve delivered. A year or so ago Steve toured with Joe Satriani, a mega favourite of mine. Orianthi is in good company with this crowd!

I urge you to go see her MySpace and listen to her music - and her soul.

MySpace Concert with Darren Hayes

2007-11-10T00:27:00.000-08:00

We arrived more than an hour and a half early and there is standing room only. The stage is set and the audience eager for the Hollywood appearance of Darren Hayes here to promote his new double-disk "This Delicate Thing We've Made". The crowd begins to simmer and our barriers drop as we make new friends... we all know we are on 'the verge of something wonderful'.

When he appears, cries of Woo Hoo's go up - a reverberation of 'Me, Myself & (i)' can be felt. He sits and sips a 'tea infusion thing' yet jokingly requests a JD & Coke, pease. Darren announces he will be performing some of the tunes he sang at his last concert in London, England. I grin; the friends I was with, this eveing were at that concert!

Steve Young, the acoustic guitarist, provides backup and Darren sings and yodels and begs beautifully, sending chills through me. His intensity is Shakespearian, his voice is a precise instrument and I fall in love with his words: temptation taunts - I like the way you move in the dark - the one thing missing is l o v e... a perfect mix of talents.

Finally after the orgasm of music, he takes time to talk to the group. "I know you and your salt water taffy. And you, in the green shirt.. " It turns out Darren takes care for his own MySpace and already has personal relationships with many of his fans that were there at Borders in Hollywood, tonight.

One of my MySpace friends and a long time fan of Darren's, Vivian from Greece, also saw him in London. During the signing of CD's, Darren spoke to her by cell phone! As if I wasn't impressed enough, already!!! This was truely a MySpace party! Thank you, Darren, for me and for Vivian, too!

To see Darren's MySpace page and hear some of his music go to: http://www.myspace.com/darrenhayes

See another mini blog at http://www.myspace.com/nikichanel

2007-11-06T10:50:00.001-08:00

It's November - National Novel Writing Month and I'm taking part. One might think that cheating would be the way to start, you know, get a furlong ahead of the others. Since it is the constancy that will count, I'm thinking that's not really being dishonest. Besides, you did write the thing, just not after the starting pistol was fired. So, these little ideas go through my head about what others might be doing and how they cope with the long hours of 'spewing' and I get registered (at http://www.nanowrimo.org ). Then I figure a little test to see how it works...maybe I could write: the quick fox jumped on the dog. No, that's not it; the fast fax chased the log. Nooo; the dogs tore the fox to shreds. No, no, no! Instead I write:
........
“Why?”

“Well, I’m related to him. I have always had a strong interest in him and now I want to know more.”

“What makes you so sure you are related?”

“I have papers proving the lineage… but I also have this.” In her hand was a small object that caught the sunlight. As it was passed to him for examination the flash of gold became obvious.

Upon closer inspection he gasped, “Pink gold!” then in a murmur “like from KV63!” His expression changed abruptly. “Where did you get this?”
........

I don't know where it came from yet I have heard from many other authors that it is the same for them, so I keep writing. The excitement of the journey practically brings tears to my eyes. My heart beats faster and I have a case of the tinglies - I can't stop. This, then, is why write... I want to know what happens next!

BTW, it's not too late if you want to join. Go to http://www.nanowrimo.org/ and fill in the blanks.

Witches' Night!

2007-10-31T17:32:00.001-07:00

So tonight is the night for spirits, vampires and Sponge Bob's to roam the land of the living. I always love it. There was a time, though, when it was not so fun. Superstition can become a dangerous thing and sadly it's unsually the innocent that get hurt. Human aggression, being what it is - controlled by brain chemistry and misunderstandings, seems to present on Halloween eve...the nice kids are dressed as they see themselves - werewolves and screaming Princes of Darkness. The wild kids often wear costumes that make you wonder if they are even dressed for the occasion: preppies, geeks, clowns (those, however, really scare me), and food. Yes, I saw a human taco this afternoon!

But the one thing that sure seems to be the main feature of most of the girls outfits is that it must be super sexy, revealing, suggestive of ill repute. Is there really so little rape and violence against beautiful, young women that they feel safe dressing this way? I'm curious, do they even know what AIDS is and how you can get it? Or just pregnancy - in high school...yeah, scary.

I have a son so don't have to worry the same way a girl parent's may. Hence, my thorough enjoyment of the evening. Besides, it's only one night a year and I'm going out to eat other people's chocolate. The price of which, these days, is higher than gas, comparatively. Now, that's really scary! BOO!

The Wizard of Izzard

2007-10-28T01:25:00.000-07:00

Tonight a group of my family, friends and I saw Eddie Izzard at the Coronet Theatre in LA. This was the first time live for me, and I'm here to tell you he is thoroughly huggable! Funny as ever, relaxed and groovey, dressed down and laughing at his own jokes. I think that must be a sign of a good comedian - one who cracks themselves up; like the definition of a good cook (one who likes their own cooking). He was so comfortable with us that he took several minutes out to reattach his bracelet that had come loose during an enactment, all the while giggling about the silliness of doing so; "I'm actually doing this!"

To understand why Eddie is so important to me, you would have to know artistic struggle (not that he has one). My challenge is: I have found it difficult to live as an artist and still be accepted by others, namely a family that feels it is frivolous, silly and should be squelched. Since I need to make art in any form, every day, this is emotionally painful - the kind that is all-consuming and pervasive; the year-after-year kind. I suppose, for me, it is like wanting to come out of the closet. Eddie has done something like that, talks about it and has found comfort in its result. I am learning from him how to break free and do want I need to do... what I want to do with my life. The laughter is the sugar that helps the medicine go down. He is more than a comedian, he is a philosopher. He has managed to put enough truth in a new light that a damaged psyche can learn how to rearrange itself to get a break. Eddie is a breath of fresh air and an effective treatment for my soul. Maybe I am not alone, but I don't talk about it to others enough to know. Thank you, Eddie, I'm healing.

In this intimate theatre, holding about 250 people at most, Eddie shared some bits reminiscent of Gerard Butler's "300" with a hilarious sketch on Spartan women shagging, looking at their watch and in seconds birthing a new Grecian warrior. Then he moved onto Scottish insights about kilts and killing (always a grin). Then again with the leather underpants... I think that is the year's favourite joke in Hollywood. Sorry, Ger.

Onward to one of my favoured forms of humour (Eddie mime being first): the sound effects. This time it was the humble fly, at first annoying the hell out of a homeowner who kindly opens a window for escape, yet later dies of repeatedly banging into the glass. But wait there's more! Fly goes to heaven and has a buzzing conversation with Saint Fly Peter at the pearly gates. You had to be there! I'll save the rest for his next DVD.

After the show, a Guiness and meeting some new friends, we were blessed with a back-stage visit from the man, himself. Eddie was so gracious and pleasant, patiently waiting for cameras to charge while nervous fans fumbled with digital technology. I even got in a snog (kiss)!

Thank you Mr. Eduardo Izzardo! Love you!

MTV Awards 2007 and Gerard Butler

2007-06-11T20:34:00.000-07:00

I was just thinking about the MTV awards 2007. I was hoping to blog about it the night of, but I found the hostess so crude I couldn't get into it.

There was one thing, however, that hung on my mind...the Sumo wrestler. I did not realize at the time, but they got that individual just for Gerry Butler! They knew he was a talker. Rather than let him go on & on, they made sure he knew to run when the Sumo was released.

I was talking to my friend and fellow author, Christine London (http://christinelondon.com), about it and she had found the story that the Sumo chased Gerard backstage. The Security people didn't know who he was and he was obliged to stay there - couldn't go back to his seat! The report she read said he spent the time with his fans that were there at the back stage door. What luck!!! But can you imagine the nerve? The guy was holding a golden popcorn trophy! Who else but an important star would be backstage with an award that wasn't supposed to be there?! Even if it's not true - isn't gossip cool? What a concept! What fun!

I say possibly not true because I have read much of the MTV awards website about the evening of the awards (http://www.mtv.com/movies/news/articles/1561564/20070604/story.jhtml ) and other reports make the first one hard to believe. I post it cuz others may find it fun or someone may get to the bottom of it and let us know what really happened.

Gerry Butler, Taurus Stunt Awards 2007 on TV

2007-05-26T20:04:00.000-07:00

So, I just watched the televised version of the Taurus World Stunt Awards with my friend Christine London. Since we were both at the awards presentation at Paramount Studios we were curious how they would edit what really happened. A few things surprised us.

For example: They allowed Gerry to talk about "leather underpants and red capes", but they didn't go into any detail about some of the awards, like "Hardest Hit". Originally, it was very informative. They explained more than they would need to for its audience, about the "Hardest Hit" award because all of them (except us, it seems) were stunt people and they would already know that there are no special effects for that kind of stunt. It is pure guts and training to keep from injuring yourself and even then some get hurt - understandably! It would have made sense to inform the public viewer about that one.

Also, I wonder when Hollywood will give us what we want, like more candid conversations from the actors we love? Even directors, these days, get to talk about their thoughts and feeling more than the actors. Yes, we get to see them on talk shows, but have you ever been to a talk show taping? Well, Christine and I have and it is frighteningly fast paced with almost no time to collect your thoughts. The stars must answer pointed questions and pump their newest film rather than spend time with their fans. We want to hear Gerard talk about his childhood or his favourite places to eat. We did get to saw Gerry Butler on the Late, Late show with Craig Ferguson (another Scot) and that was fun. The two already knew each other and Gerry was fairly rested from the "300" ordeal, so their banter was more lighthearted than for most. On that show they talked about Gerry's attempts to stop smoking and it was refreshing to have some insight into the man and learn that he has tried everything and some techniques he has tried several times! Yikes! If a guy like Mr. Butler can't stop, maybe we don't have to be so hard on ourselves with our perceived weaknesses - we can still be strong in other venues, like him. This is what we want; real time with our heroes. Quit editing out the cool stuff!

Actually, they did let Gerry talk quit a bit at the awards - in real life. So much so that at the end of his time on stage, (those of you that saw the edited TV show) you heard Dwayne "the Rock" Johnson say, "I could'a whooped him...but he could'a talked us to death!" That would have made more sense if we could have been given all of Gerry's air time.

Yeah, I know we gotta be fair and there is only so much time available and the sponsors have to assail us with their product hype, but we still want what we want. That's why reality TV was such a smash hit. Only problem was, normal people were put into unreal situations. How about putting some extraordinary people, like Gerard Butler or Johnny Depp, in a real situation and let him talk about what's on his mind? Hollywood, hear my plea!

Taurus World Stunt Awards 2007

2007-05-25T19:58:00.000-07:00

The evening began innocently enough - with Champaaagne!

Then we were escorted to Hollywood by the very sexy chauffeur, Lorenzo. Upon arrival, under a sky of circling helicopters, we walked into a sea of gowns and breasts. That's the way it's done in LA – Just barely cover the nipple and hope for the best!

Block-long limos brought dignitaries we did not recognize. As we approached the entrance to claim our tickets, we were asked, "Are you stunt women?" How would you answer?
Tickets in hand, we are instructed to walk the red carpet… you know, the one with the Paparazzi and TV video cameramen getting as close to you as humanly possible. So this is what it's like to be a big star. I didn't even look back at Christine, my 'date'. I just dove in, expecting the shock of an unheated pool – and loved it! I found myself winking into the camera lens. Yes, they took footage of us. They didn't know who we were, but, you know… "just to be safe".

Turning the final corner we are assaulted by a huge open-air video screen above the stage, set with a mock back lot street. A Taurus Café, Taurus Bank, "men working" signs and scaffolding complete with nets and mattresses, for some risk-taking, no doubt.

Our view advantage was wonderful, though it seemed a bit nippy. Uncertain whether we would be in or outside for the show, we came prepared with wraps. Looking around at the growing audience, I notice a young woman with crutches; a towering black man with a cast on his wrist; an elegant blonde Amazon walking with a cane; another in a wheelchair. No one stared at them. This is the world of stunts.

A rather handsome, young usher offers us black fleece blankets. (The label read: Peachfurfleece.com - I'm gonna get me one!) An unseen announcer tells us a countdown is in progress. Sure enough, as the palm trees flicker in the breeze, the big vid screen is filled to capacity with face of Dwayne "the Rock" Johnson (yum!) being interviewed as he appears to be walking backstage to the set. Speaking confidently about how precise the production is, a Ninja slides down a rope and grabs him by the neck; gunmen flank Eric Estrada who has popped out to explain that he wants to take over the job of hosting this prestigious event.

Shooting and explosions ensue. A quick escape is mad by the slam dunk Rock who fights off his foes, saves the cameraman, emotes over a fallen friend then leaps into a security getaway Hummer.

BANG! CRASH! Fireworks! We jump in surprise as the Hummer skids thru the wall and onto the stage. Wow! Smiling like "I meant to do that" the Rock becomes our MC of the 2007 Taurus World Stunt Awards. The crowd goes wild! Man, we had a blast!

Celebrity appearances in person and on screen are interspersed by death-defying stunts performed by "body-doubles". Bruce Willis supports the industry with a heartfelt dedication to the bravery and selflessness of these men and women (pre-recorded). Harrison Ford, who incidentally does many of his own stunts, presented the award for stunt coordinator and 2nd division director.

Joe Cocker was the music break artist and did a fabulous rendition of his world famous "Feelin' Alright" (Look for a link at the bottom of the page for a link.)

Jeannie Epper, the original female stunt person that made it possible for other women, and her own daughter, to get into the business was given an award of acknowledgment. Seventy to one hundred stunt women of every stature were there onstage to applaud her. I guess that was the group we were thought to be involved with when we collected our tickets.

Next, a flurry of daredevils sprint and fly from roof top to scaffolding (Oh, so that's what that was for) turning summersaults in the air – no wires or CGI – just pure talent. Stunt dancers slithered in and out of a moving car, pirate swords fights and more explosions all culminated with an on-fire fashion show (e real favourite!) It was refreshing to see that the show did not go as smoothly as we see on TV or in the theatre. Spokespeople forgot their lines or stepped on the lines of others; mics didn't work, and one guest commented - on camera! - that the teleprompter script print was too small to read! I am curious to see if the televised version on Friday the 25th of May, 2007, is cleaned or casual. Especially when Dwayne the "Rock" had a smoke bomb go off too soon and left no time for his prepared lines, he remarked, "They're gonna edit the hell outa that!" and got a good laugh.

Onward to the lifetime achievement award which was given to Burt Reynolds while the back screen showed his visual portfolio. I had never seen most of it and certainly didn't realize that he did his own stunts. He's the real McCoy. During his acceptance speech he stopped and handed the enormous trophy to Schwarzenegger to hold, and went on with his story. That was a fun touch.

Finally, we get to the part of the evening that brought us here…Gerard Butler. All evening Dwayne Johnson, our MC, had been taunting Gerry, testily accusing him of trumping the Rock's position - all alpha male gesturing, of course, but gave us ample opportunity to lean over and catch a glimpse of Gerry waving or hiding his expression or dare I interpret? – "Bugger off, man. You keep it up and I'll have to box you 'round the ear 'ole!" He seemed a bit uneasy to see his face the size of Montreal (oop, sorry, Glasgow) up on the screen.

Now it was his turn to get an award for the Action Movie Actor of the Year for his work in the groundbreaking film "300", from the graphic novel by Frank Miller. The tension created by the Rock had its desired effect and the crowd was all 'tingly' with anticipation, clapping and hooting cheers. I had seen the spears long before they were carried on stage by some mega buff hotties. They were so in character it seemed as though Gerry was being arrested - Spartan style! They escorted him up the stairs and took their places, two on each side one fore, one aft. Gerard had a quick look at his fellow soldiers and says, "I don't know these guys. I was hoping I'd never see another man in leather underpants." It was obvious from the start that this was ad-lib, all the way. He talked like it was just the two of us (to an throng of approximately 2500!) telling us personal stories like, "The role I had was mostly about getting beat up, just like these stuntmen here get beat up. My mother used to beat me – with a back-scratcher – from Spain – whilest in her slippers." I was beginning to get embarrassed. How much is he going to tell us? Will he get so personal that that scary hush will wash over the audience? Is someone going to stop him? No. He reined himself in and said, "Ya, know, I've lost a lot of weight. I'm not the man I was so I'm going to let the Rock win." Sweet.

To end a perfect evening, there was the party. The spectators were invited onto the back lot of Paramount Studios which is no longer available to the general public. Food and drink kiosks were set up throughout this Neverland supplying beef, prime rib, pork roast, BBQ chicken, savory salads and delectable desserts with amazing berries. All drinks were laced with Red Bull. That's OK – they sponsored the entire affair. I had a "Tunnel Vision" made with Absolute vodka, Red Bull and pineapple juice. They provided mechanical rodeo riding and an under-lit dance floor; a room of stunt oriented video games for the kids (and the kids at heart) and motorcycle stuntmen entertained us by zipping around inside a metal mesh ball. Great DJ, too! Lasers drew images and messages on the outer walls of the permanent sets, at one time scrawling "G.B.!"

At prominent locations were 'Reserved' signs claiming a makeshift living room of elegant sofas and low, candle laden tables for particular celebs, though they never showed. I suppose that is understandable considering the governor was there. Wherever their wrap party was, I would have loved to be a fly on the wall near Gerry and the Rock! When we realized there was no Mr. Butler to chat up, had eaten our fill and spoken to a number of stunt men and women we decided it was time to start out to our waiting limo. A helicopter was still there – circling. "The governor must still be here." I thought. Hmmm…I assume Gerry is, too.

In the Beginning there was Blog

2007-03-22T00:30:00.000-07:00

This is new blog space for me, and I guess it's about time. I have been feeling a need to be with artists, this being a creative way to reach out.

My inspiration comes from thinking more deeply about movies I see, experiences I have and what family and friends mean to me. You know...you go to a party and enjoy yourself. It's the day after when you remember what went on there. That's the thinking deeply I'm talkin' about... not the real kind.

However, lately, I have had other issues to deal with and feel deserted and alone, unappreciated and taken for granted. These are not the kind of thoughts that encourage creativity - they are not inspirational thoughts. Yet, Buddhists say that "if it's going to be funny later, it's funny now". Maybe, I'll eventually find my own way out. It's just...I need a kind word, once in a while.

So, I went looking for some positive words on the internet and found some funnies:
"Ineptitude:If you can't learn to do something well, learn to enjoy doing it poorly."
"Unique: Just because you are unique doesn't mean you are useful."
"Failure: When your best just ain't good enough."

Ooops, guess I'm on a roll.